I dated this girl in the University. I’ve never loved anyone like I loved her. But there were some things she was doing that I didn’t find cool. The girl is fine. Like very very fine. I remember guys used to give her a lot of attention. It’s not as if I’m the jealous type, but she could flirt with the guys and not tell them she has a boyfriend. When I ask her, she plays the defence card and says the guys just chat with her and they have not said they’ll date her. It was hard for me, but I tried and broke up with her and we went our separate ways. I deleted her contacts and unfriended and unfollowed her everywhere on social media. I’m the type who blocks my exs cos I don’t want to see anything that will make me regret the break up. She started spreading lies about me on campus to her friends but I just let them believe whatever.
So fast forward, 6 years later. Through some links from a family friend, I have gotten a good government job. I got into the job with this guy on the same day. The two of us became paddies and we’re still very good friends. When he started dating he told me about it and told me he has hopes that this girl will be his last stop. He keeps talking about settling down all the time and I understand him. He has hit 34, so it makes sense. I’m 28 and I’m not young like that but marriage is not in my plans. I’m chasing money 24/7. So my paddy was always talking about this girl and saying that next year 2023 he will marry her. Meanwhile they hadn’t even dated for a year yet. Like joke like joke he showed me her picture and chale it’s my girl ooo. I thought I’ve forgotten about her but it’s not easy like that.
Since the day he showed me her pics, I have been thinking about her. It’s like nothing I try to do to forget her works. I regretted breaking up with her but I acted cool with my friend and I haven’t told him anything. One weak moment I went to check her instagram and I spent the whole night checking her pictures and bating to our memories. Then I messaged her. I told her the guy she is dating is my close paddy but I still have feelings for her. She told me she doesn’t love my friend like she loves me. We started chatting late at night everyday. Then we started doing things on video. Then she was coming to my side for shuperu. I haven’t told my friend. I can’t tell him. I am forcing the girl to just break up with him quietly to not cause any problems. My friend is always talking about her to me in the office. He now calls her his wife-to-be.
He hasn’t proposed marriage to her, but he is preparing for it and he has told me. The girl too is not breaking up with him and I’m now in the middle of this mess. For a week now I’ve refused to sleep with her although I am burning for it. I feel bad for what we’re doing. Real paddies don’t do that and I know it. That’s why I feel bad. If not for work, I would have left Cape to settle in another place kraaa so that I can avoid this problem. But cos of work, I can’t move. The girl just enjoys shuperu with me but she likes the commitment my friend is giving her. Dude takes care of her and buys her stuff. He is always thinking about her. The girl is playing with both of us. He gets money from him and intimacy from me. She said I do it better than him. I’m trying to stop what I’m doing with her and be a loyal friend.
Even if I stop eating her, I don’t think she is wife material for my guy. He will marry her and she’ll go behind his back and cheat. It’s just like the way she acted when we were dating. The only difference is that now, I’m the guy she’s cheating on my friend with. How do I get rid of the girl once and for all? Not just for me, but my paddy too. I cannot tell him the truth but I want to separate them. My guy is too good to be with this kind of girl. I should have told him the girl is my ex the moment he showed me her pic. But now that he has introduced us and we have acted like we don’t know each other, I cannot tell him again. If he finds out about all of this, he will cut me off. That one too is not cool. What do I do?