I want to share my story. I just got dumped by my girlfriend of 2 years because I decided to open up about this secret I have been harboring for 9 years. It was very selfish of me to have kept it but I knew she would leave the moment she found out and that is exactly what has happened. I was a very spiritual guy. There was not a day that I didn’t go to this meeting or that meeting. I was very active in campus fellowships and even after completing school, I took spiritual things seriously. On my 25th birthday, some friends from work organized a pool party for me. My birthday fell on a holiday and they said we had to celebrate. I got seriously drunk and smoked for the first time. Later, that lifestyle started becoming a part of me.
It was small small. This pool party here, club here, event there. One of my work mates was a part-time DJ so he let me know of any events coming up and we went together. That’s when I met this very thick girl. She was the one the devil used to destroy my life. She was dancing and I went to grind on her. I later got her in a corner and we kissed and exchanged contacts. I had never done that before; not to a woman I just met. I was intoxicated with wine, the weather was quite cold and It put me in the mood. I couldn’t resist her. I ordered a cab and went home with her. We did it twice that evening and once in the morning. When she left in the morning, we continued chatting, but the vibe was not there again. Her answers were always single words, so I assumed she wasn’t interested and I just moved on.
It was like I got a lot of ‘vim’ after meeting her and getting her in bed the same night so for the next 5 months, I slept with different girls. Most of them I did it raw and gave them money to buy pills. About 7 months after meeting that first girl, I started having malaria symptoms- fever and chills mainly. I went to take the three course malaria medicine. The symptoms subsided a bit and got worse a few days later so I went to the hospital. That’s when I was told I had HIV. At that point, I didn’t even think it was the first girl who gave it to me since I had had multiple girls after her. But I just messaged her later and asked her if she knew her HIV status. My messages were ticking blue, meaning she was reading, but no reply. Meanwhile, we were chatting about another topic before I brought the HIV topic and she was replying. Then I told her I have the virus and I just found out. She read all that. The other messages I sent only ticked once. I tried calling her and saw that she had blocked me. I used different phones to try and reach her but her number didn’t go through.
It had to be her. The way she lured me into doing it with her shows and before I met her, I always used protection. Now because of her, I have spread it to other girls before finding out myself that I had it. I’m sure that’s why it is spreading. People don’t know they’re spreading the virus because they don’t even know they have it. The news affected me. I got suicidal and depressed. I tried to get back to God but it did not work. I stopped the partying and started taking my ARVs. I was going to church programs once a while, but I did not tell anyone my status except my sister. I met my girlfriend at one of the church programs. I was scared she will leave me so I didn’t tell her anything and she did not have the slighyest hint. I was very healthy. We got intimate many times and I used protection all the time.
I know HIV is not a death sentence, but life would have been easier if I was negative. I don’t know if I can date a negative partner because she will leave me and I do deserve it. My young friends please let’s live our lives well so that we don’t suffer needless consequences for things we could have easily avoided. If you’re like me and you have an addictive personality, be careful. I don’t know how to be half-committed in something. I enter into things with my whole heart. I easily get addicted and hooked on things. If you’re like that, be very careful. That thing can serve us well or hurt us depending on what you use it for. This life we live is only one. Let’s try to live it well