I know I deserve insults, but please look beyond my stupidity and give me advice and solutions. I am a married man. Me and my woman have been married for the past 8 years with no child. We have been doing treatments here and there and it has not been easy like that. The problem was from my wife but the doctors said it was treatable. She had issues with fibroid and all that and she has had three miscarriages in the past. At a point, it looked like I was the one forcing her and putting pressure on her all the time to go for checkups at the fertility clinic and also I was forcing her to do the do all the time. I was just desperate to have a baby of my own. I have these close friends of mine. We go out to party once in a while. Not always but we try to meet when we all come to Accra.


One of my friends has been married for 10 years with 3 children, but he has gone to do away with another girl in Takoradi and they have a child together. His wife doesn’t know. This guy was advising me to find another woman if it is just a child I want and that my wife does not have to know. Some work colleagues were even suggesting those science methods and surrogate. But the cost alone can put you off. So I started considering my Tadi friend’s offer. Especially when my wife became very moody because she was always playing the guilt card and using emotional blackmail and self-pity as her defense. It used to work years ago. I was tired of it now. I got myself a girl. She is a University student. Just drove around the campus one time and pretended I was lost and I needed directions. I promised to take care of her. I bought her a new laptop and phone and I put her on weekly allowance.


She knew I was married. She just didn’t know my plans of impregnating her. I should have chosen someone with no academic committments, but those Legon girls are very eay to get. Unless you don’t have car or money. So I got a single room self contain for her outside campus. It was in Madina, so it wasn’t far. I will pass there and do the do before going home to my wife. With time, the girl started requesting that I give her money for pills since I never use protection. I always gave excuses, but I saw that she was buying them on her own and I got angry at her. The girl read my intentions and told me she was not ready to be pregnant because of school. I understood her, but I didn’t leave her. My visits to her place became less frequent although I continued to take care of her.

I decided cheating was too stressful for me so I will try and reduce the frequency and cut the girl off completely before my wife gets any hint. Then some months later, this new tenant came to occupy the vacant room in our next house. That is where I messed up. Me and the girl started something. One moment we were friends. I helped her set things up in her room one Saturday and then our chats started. It happened fast, but I knacked her on two occasions and then I started trying to make attempts to stop. Wifey accused me of cheating one day and I did not want to hurt her more than she was hurting. Now this is my problem. My wife got pregnant early this year. The pregnancy was complicated so we were adviced not to have any form of intercourse until she gave birth.


I was sneaking next door to the lady I spoke about and also meeting the Legon girl after work. Now, my wife has given birth to a boy. The two other girls I was using to hold my libido until wifey is ready too are pregnant. The Uni girl’s own is what has shocked me cos I thought she was buying pills but she said she forgot on some days. I have sat her down to convince her that terminating it will help both of us. She is in school and My wife just gave birth after many years of waiting. She agreed to everything only for her to call me days later to tell me she was scared of that and her conscience is against it so she told her mother as soon as she got home for vacation and her mother is waiting for me to come and see her and take responsibility. Thankfully, the neighbour has taken money from me to go and remove her own.

What do I do about this school girl? She doesn’t know where I stay or anyone I know. If I change my number and social media accounts, she won’t trace me again. These thoughts keep running through my mind but I know it’s wrong. I can’t tell my wife about this. My wife had a friend who forgave her husband when she found out he was cheating. My wife was so angry. She said if it was her, she will leave me immediately. I haven’t forgotten that. She suspects me, but she hasn’t found anything solid. My son just arrived. I don’t want him to come and meet a broken home after we waited many years for him. I am wondering if it is possible to go and see the girl’s mother and explain things to her. I will promise them that I will take care of the child when It’s born and he or she won’t lack but they should stay away from my wife. She doesn’t have to know.

If you look at the timing of the pregnancies, it’s like they all decided to get pregnant to punish me for my actions. Now, the Uni girl is about 4 months pregnant. The abortion is not late but it’s not safe. I don’t know what to do. My friend from Tadi wants to escort me to the place and claim the baby as his so that my wife will not know it is mine. I’m not sure the girl will play along. I also do not think it’s a good idea. I’m just in chaos right now. I need advice.