I need advice on how to go about this. I impregnated a girl when I was 17 years and I never took responsibility. My family also didn’t help me. My mum was solidly behind me and when I told her the girl was lying she didn’t probe further. I remember the two families used to be friends but after that incident we stopped talking to ourselves. Although we were all living our lives, I was monitoring the girl and I used to see my daughter in the area but I was too proud to come and ask for forgiveness so that I can take care of my daughter. The mother also avoided me. They later left the area and I didn’t see them for years, but thank God for social media. I came across my baby mama’s profile on Facebook and I went through her pictures and I saw my daughter. I even saw her graduation pictures.
Her name was tagged so I went to check her pics and there were many posts with her mother. She was always saying a lot of things about her mother and how she has done well and gone through a lot for her. I felt very bad and sent her a message. She didn’t reply and I’m sure she didn’t see it. We weren’t friends so the message didn’t appear in her direct inbox. I sent her a friend request. I have never spoken to her before. I don’t know the story her mum told her about her dad and I didn’t know if she knew me or not. She accepted the request and I started chatting her. She was polite and everything and she asked me why I was chatting her. I didn’t give her a good answer. Then she told me I’m her biological father. She knew. I gave her my number, we started talking on phone. I wanted to be part of her life and be her father again although I was 25 years late. She hasn’t been disrespectful to me but she also hasn’t given me the chance to get close to her.
Her mother is married and has children with the man. I’m not married and I don’t have any child apart from her. I’ve seen that my daughter considers her stepdad more as her father than me. The most painful thing is that she is going to get married and her stepdad will walk her down the aisle. I made a mistake as a teenager but I regret it and I’ve told her several times. We have met to talk. I have met ther mother too. They both said they have forgiven me and moved on but they are not giving me a chance to know them well. Especially my daughter. Even with her wedding, she sent me a normal invitation, so it means I will just be there as a guest. I know I made a mistake but I was very young and naive. How do I gain my daughter’s trust? I haven’t even been introduced to my future son-in-law. My daughter is writing her stepdad’s name so he is stepping in fully as her father. I’ve told her I will like her to write mine and she said it’s not necessary and that she used to write her mother’s maiden name until her mother married her stepdad and she had to change her name to her stepdad’s, so she doesn’t want to change her surname again and she was okay writing her stepfather’s name. She has used the same name through school and her degree and she didn’t want to go through any process to change her name again.
She also said that since she is getting married, her name will change again so there is no need to add my surname. I don’t have anything against the stepfather, but he is not the biological father of my daughter and he also has his own children with my baby mama so at least he should give me a chance with my daughter. My friends are saying I have been dull and another man has taken over the fatherly role from me and I just laugh over it like it’s nothing, but it really pains me. How can I get close to my daughter? I know I never contributed anything to her growth but it’s not too late and I want to be part of her life. I regret rejecting her. If you’re a father who has abandoned his child please don’t make my mistake. My daughter doesn’t even see all I’m doing to get close to her. I don’t know what to do anymore.
