John is my bestie’s older brother. I have had a crush on him since I can remember. He is 2 years ahead of us and he is the quiet type. Joyce and I became friends when I joined a new school in JHS and I found out we were in the same area. We also had the same studies teacher after school and he was meeting us at my home. He was also teaching John. John and I didn’t talk much. He would just ask me if I’ve seen his sister or something along those lines. Nothing personal. After JHS, we all went to different SHS. Joyce and I were still close and we would catch up during vacation and walk together and gossip in the area. I never told her I had a crush on her brother and that it wasn’t just a crush, but I was really attracted to him. Yet we still remained acquaintances and we didn’t talk much.
After SHS, Joyce went to training College and I went to UG. Her brother had already gone ahead. He helped me with the long process of admissions and applying for a hall. He took me on a tour around campus before the orientation and showed me the lecture halls. “I wish I had someone to show me around when I first came to school, I would not have gotten missing on my first day of class” He said and I was smiling all time. For me, it was just nice to be near him. He was so nice to me during my first year. He called me when he was going to buy food and he will buy some for me. I wasn’t cooking much during my first year cos he was always buying food and calling me to his hostel to eat. At that time, I couldn’t read him. I didn’t know if he was just being a nice guy and treating me like he would treat his younger sister or he was interested in dating me. But I still went along with it.
He took me to the Hall weeks and some events outside campus and he always acted protective around me. He gave guys this funny look when they were trying to get to know me. He will always say, “you are still too young to date. Focus on your books.” I will just smile when he told me that. When he got to final year, he got busy with his project work, so I wasn’t seeing him everyday. But, he would call me and check up on me. I came very close to telling him my feelings several times. But I was scared it will spoil the friendship we shared. I didn’t want to push him away. We weren’t that close when he was coming to my house for classes after school. It’s on campus that he has become close to me and I didn’t want anything to spoil it. He is the guy so if he is interested, he’ll let me know. That’s how I thought, so I just went along with our daily calls. He never even flirted with me or said anything about my looks. We spoke of normal things, but it was more like a sibling-sibling relationship.
Samuel was my roommate’s boyfriend. He used to visit us in the room and he was friendly with all of us. He was a Masters student and my roomie was in 400. When my roomie was in her last semester, she said the guy was a distraction to her and she broke up with him. He would still come to our room and tell us to beg her for him. He got closer to me than the other roomies because I was lying on top of his ex and the other roomies were mostly not in the room when he came so it was me he came to meet. He started whatsapping me and we started chatting on whatsapp everyday. Then he was flirting with me and I told my roomie about it and she said she has moved on and she doesn’t care if we date or not. They completed school and John still hadn’t proposed to me. Meanwhile this Master’s guy was giving me all the signs that he would propose soon. At that point I was starting to like him.
But I’ve known John for many years and It’s him I wanted. John started doing his national service as a Teaching Assistant in the school. He had accommodation on campus too so it was like he was still a student. He had more free time and he always wanted to see me at night to chat and walk around. Samuel was also calling all the time for my attention and then it became like I was dating these two nice guys. Even though none of them had proposed. I don’t know if they were both scared of rejection or uncertain if I was worthy for them to date me. But Samuel proposed first. He came to my hall one evening and we were just walking around and chatting when he asked me, “so if I should ask you to be my girlfriend would you say yes? I’m sure many guys are chasing you by now” He said it like a joke so I just laughed and said nothing. But then he said. “I’m serious and I want an answer from you” I looked at him. I like him in a different way from the way I like John. Samuel is very funny and I feel very relaxed around him. He doesn’t scold me like his younger sister and he is not the type who will tell me plainly to go and read my books. He has interesting ways of making me study. He can call and tell me he will go to the reading room at 7pm so I should come and let’s go and study. So I agreed to his proposal and he was very happy.
Three days later, John and I were chatting and he told me he wasn’t feeling well so I went to visit him in his room. When I got there he was down with malaria and he was shivering. I hadn’t told him yet that I was in a relationship. We were talking and he said, “Sarah, I really like you. I’ve liked you for a long time, but I didn’t know how to tell you because at first you were like a sister to me but now I have developed feelings for you and I wish we can date” I was quiet for some time. This is a guy I have wanted for years, now proposing to me a few days after I have accepted another guy’s proposal. I would have easily said yes if he had proposed earlier. But right now, I am very confused. Samuel has been very good to me and I am developing feelings for him. John is someone I have always loved. So I told John the truth. I told him about how I have always loved him and that I have waited for him to propose for very long. Then I also told him Samuel has proposed to me and I have accepted. He knows Samuel as my friend. Then I added that Samuel’s proposal is still fresh so he should give me a little time to decide once and for all who to be in a relationship with.
I need some advice please. My only problem with John is that he treats me like a younger sister. ” Sarah go and study. Sarah don’t follow friends.” The way he gives those advices makes me feel like I am a kid. I don’t know if he will change his way of communicating if I choose him. Samuel doesn’t do that to me. Samuel is 5 years older than me, yet he treats me like we are equals and he shows me a lot of love. I can say that my feelings keep growing for Samuel more and more as I mature and now I don’t know if I should maintain my relationship with him or run back to John who has always been my crush. Please help me decide.
PS: Samuel doesn’t know about my long time friendship with John though, but John knows about Samuel.
(The names used are not the real names of the individuals involved in the story)