15 years ago, I was a 20 year old guy who had just completed JSS with my girlfriend. I didn’t start school early. It’s normal in village life. She was 16 years at that time. Out of excitement after finishing school, we sneaked into the bush and did shuperu. We did it again after that first time. As expected, she got pregnant. My parents were not alive at that time and I was staying with my big sister and her husband and children. Life was very tough back then and I used to go to bed with an empty stomach sometimes. When she told me she was pregnant, I forced her into taking some herbs to abort the baby. But it never worked. Before we could plan anything, her mom saw that she was pregnant by how she was behaving. I was home when she came to tell me that her mum knows and they were planning to come to my side to ask because she mentioned my name that I was responsible.


Some of my classmates were doing trotro mate after school and I was scared. When her family came to ask me, I denied it. I told them I haven’t done anything with her. The next day, I run away from the village with the help of a friend who was doing mate and went to Sunyani for a while, before coming to Accra to hustle. It hasn’t been easy for me at all. But with hardwork, I entered into spare parts business and things got better. I don’t know if this lady cursed me, but anytime I enter into a relationship and it’s going well, the lady leaves me. I’m not bad-looking. I also provide for them but it has been the same. My last relationship lasted 4 years. I told her I will marry her and I have seen her family about it. I am in contact with my uncle and sister. So I was planning to make them come for them to help me with the knocking.


This lady just called me and told me she isn’t interested in me again. She didn’t give me an explanation and I kept calling her until she blocked me. When I go to her house too, her parents will always give the excuse that she is not there and I should just respect that she doesn’t want to marry me anymore. This happened in February this year. It got to me so much I started going out drinking at night. My ex used to sleepover my side on weekends and I felt lonely. I started going in for street girls. One of my customers was linking me to them and that was how I was managing. I wasn’t planning to give my heart to a woman again. I was getting the girls for weekends until one day I recognized one girl who came to my house. My customer sends me their snap or whatsapp numbers and I chat them.

So I spoke to this girl and that Friday she came over. Mostly I repeat old ones, but once a while I like to try a new girl. I went out drinking and I was tipsy when I got home and called her to come over. When she came, we did it and I was sleepy. But she looked familiar to me. I’m one who hardly forgets faces. I was thinking hard. Then I remembered she’s my baby mama’s younger sister. The one I impregnated. I went to wear my clothes and I called her by her name. It was her. I told her who I was and I asked about her sister. She said she is in Accra with her. My sister told me that she left the child with her mother and left for the city, but I felt guilty so I wasn’t asking her questions about my child. I haven’t gone back to the village since I left too. It’s shameful for me. My baby mama’s sis said she stays with her and they’re in the same business. Chale guys I felt very bad for sleeping with her. I used to see her as my younger sister then.


Fast forward, we went to her place the next day. When we got there her sis had not returned from going to a client. We went at dawn cos I couldn’t sleep after everything. But it was just business for her and she slept. I was thinking the whole night. We were inside and I was talking small small with her about the village and when they came to Accra and the sister came. She remembered me at once. We started talking plenty and I was telling her to even stop this sleeping around. She was acting hard at first but she almost broke down about how hard life has been for her and this is what she has been using to take care of herself and send money to the village. She doesn’t want our son to come to Accra.

I want to date her and marry her but she doesn’t want to stop seeing clients. Guys how should I go about this? I feel responsible for the pain I have caused her and I want to make things right. She said she doesn’t love me and she doesn’t want to get married too. What should I do?