I KNOW THE KIND OF GUY MY COUSIN IS GOING TO MARRY. SHOULD I TELL HER?

This guy and I were in a relationship for a year. I can say that that year was the worst period of my life. A relationship which began so nicely turned very abusive. He would punch me when we have arguments and then he’ll be the same guy to buy me things and try to make amends. That was the cycle I endured for a while. He was an extremely jealous guy and he had issues with me having male friends. I was a 19-year-old university fresher and I thought I loved him and he felt same. I never really had the strength in me to break up with him. He was the one who broke up with me when he completed the school. He was three years ahead of me. I went through a serious heartbreak for months after that. But now, looking back, I am so glad that abusive relationship ended and I’m glad he taught me those lessons the hard way.

 

I met my husband when I started working and I’m married with a child now. I haven’t been in a relationship with a lot of people. That abusive ex was the first guy I dated and after he hurt me badly, I turned down all proposals until I met the man I married. He didn’t come to propose like most guys did when they approached me. He and I were friends for a while first so I trusted him. So the thing is, I have a distant relative, well she’s not quite distant. Her father and my mother are cousins, so we are second cousins. But she is one of those relatives you hardly see. We’re also not close so she doesn’t know what happens in my life and I don’t know what happens in hers. I wasn’t even having her number. Recently, my mum told me that she (second cousin) was going to get married soon. My mum told me my cousin wanted me to handle the gifts and donations of the wedding and help her with the organisation of the event because I’m good with those things.

 

She requested my number from my mum and called me to discuss it with me. The wedding is supposed to happen early next year but she wants to plan everything well. She kept complimenting my wedding and how everything went on and she told me she wanted something similar. Now I have seen her husband’s picture. Your guess is as good as mine. He is my ex. The same guy who used to beat me. I have been quiet about it but the more I think about the whole situation, the more I wonder. It’s either he beats my cousin and she hides it or he is a changed man. As far as I know, people don’t change. I also don’t want to be the one who comes between them. I dated the guy 10 years ago. I haven’t seen him for all these years. A lot can happen within this time period.

Because of the wedding planning, my cousin has been visiting me a lot now. I am making a list of the things we will need and where I got my services for the wedding. I have been watching her closely and the truth is, she looks so happy. The weird thing is that I haven’t met the man yet. I have only seen their pictures together. I don’t know how I’ll react when I see him again. I don’t know if I should tell my husband. He knows about the ex who abused me, but he doesn’t know he will be marrying my cousin in some months. I don’t know if I should open up to my cousin’s dad or my mum. I feel like I should do something and I need to know if I should tell the bride-to-be.