I finally met my friend’s Fiancé. Where we already know each other from is the problem right now

A close friend of mine is set to get married in a month’s time. As one of his many groomsmen, we are current planning our attire and putting plans together for the engagement and wedding. Over the weekend, I got to meet his wife for the first time and I’ve been a mess since. My friend had invited us all to a small get together with his fiancé and her friends to introduce us. Essentially, he wanted the friends from his side to meet she and her friends just to have fun and bond with each other. Immediately I saw his wife to be I knew there was trouble, because I recognized her. She is a hookup girl I used to order.


I’m not proud of this, but I have ordered for hookups girls in the past. Nobody knows this, not even my closest friends, because its not something I can admit to them that I do. I have ordered several of them and this particular girl was one of my favorites. About a year ago, she quit the hookup business, deleted all of her contacts and I never heard from her again. At the time, she told me she wanted to turn her life around, and make something of herself. I didn’t know that she was planning to go get married. And to my own friend of all people. I have heard stories about men finding out that one of their friends dated their wife before and that ruined the marriage and their friendship ….and my situation is even worse. This lady wasn’t just my ex, she was my call girl; someone I paid regularly to be with me. How would my friend react if I told him?


At the get together, I could see that she recognized me too and was instantly uncomfortable. The entire event left a bitter taste in my my mouth just as I’m sure it did for her. I had to pretend not to know her when my friend introduced us and pretend to be okay talking to her the whole time. I expected her to get in touch after the weekend to offer some kind of explanation, but she didn’t. Maybe she has deleted my contact number for real and couldn’t find a way to contact me. Or maybe she just didn’t know what to say or is scared of how I might react.

Right now, I face a dilemma. I can shut up and watch my friend marry a hookup girl or I can speak up and say what I know. Both choices are going to have consequences. I don’t think my conscience can live with it if I don’t say or do anything and let this marriage go on. I’m not the type of person to just forget things like this and move on. Every time I see my friend and every time I see his new wife, I’m going to be reminded of this and feel guilty. What if they have children? Am I just going to avoid that whole family forever? Honestly, I don’t think the girl is good for her. If they end up having issues or divorcing in the future, wouldn’t I be partly responsible? If I don’t tell my friend now, allow him to go ahead with the wedding and he finds out years later, he might never forgive me for keeping it away from him.


On the other hand, maybe its not my place to interfere in other people’s issues and ruin their chance at a happy life. The girl could have changed for all I know and willing to turn a new leaf. For all I know, my friend may already be aware of her past and willing to accept her for who she is. Wouldn’t I just be causing more harm by bringing up the past and opening what could be old wounds? This whole thing has got me thinking a lot, of considering multiple scenarios. I haven’t been able to sleep. There are trusted adults and mutual friends in my life I usually discuss things like this with for advice, the only problem is that I can’t explain the situation to them without revealing that I used to hire hookup girls. Anonymous online forums like this are my only option. I’ll be in the comments reading your advice. Thanks in advance. I know some people too will take this opportunity to insult me, but no problem. I just need to know what to do.