My husband is seriously angry with me but I don’t understand him because I have done what any rational person would do. Our marriage is 7 years old and we have five kids. The first born is a girl, and then a set of twins; two identical boys. Then two years later, I gave birth to a girl. Just a few months ago, I have given birth to another girl. Raising 5 kids has been very stressful and tiring for both of us. It’s not as if we are rich. We are also hustling in the country and it hasn’t been easy at all for us, so because of this, when I was pregnant for my fifth child, I spoke to the doctor about permanent ways of ensuring I don’t get pregnant again after delivering her. I was to deliver by C-section and the doctor said the procedure will be done on me when my baby comes out.
So I agreed and consented to it. I should have told my husband, I know. But I assumed he would understand. We had agreed to have three kids. So after the birth of the twins, we decided it was enough. But he is the same person who will come home from work tipsy and h*rny and we will have s*x. Our last two babies were not planned and the family planning medications I was taking was giving me side effects so I stopped. I just told him recently that I have done the procedure and it was done on me after my baby was taken out. My husband was so angry that he almost hit me after hearing this. He has never done that before and this has been the most serious argument we have had. He called me names and I have been very hurt.
He said I am a wicked woman and that as the only child of his mother he is trying to have as many kids as he can so that his single mother can have a lot of granchildren. So I asked him about our plan of having only three kids and he said he didn’t mean it. He said I should have waited for us to have one more child and that he wanted another son to ensure we have three girls and three boys. After the argument, my husband has become like a ghost in the house. He doesn’t speak to me. I ask him a question and he won’t mind me. He is not eating my food. I will cook, and he will send our first daughter to go and buy food for him. I am so shocked and I feel like he is overreacting. But his friend and I spoke on the phone and he told me I did the wrong thing and I should have consulted my husband.
I have seen my mistake and I have been apologising to my husband and he won’t even talk to me. The thing is, my husband has a high sex drive and he doesn’t like using protection. If I didn’t do this procedure, I will end up giving birth to more children and I can’t handle it. It’s difficult to go through this stress from my husband when I have given birth not too long ago and I feel so overwhelmed all the time. The doctor who did the procedure on me asked about my husband’s opinion but when I explained to him that we now have 5 kids and we are not in a good place financially and that my husband will understand, he didn’t push the issue further. I thought I was doing what was best for us and now I don’t know how to get my husband to love me again. Please What should I do?
