I love sex. I cannot go a single morning without it. I was barely 14 years when I broke my virginity. Even before that, the area boys used to finger me and fondle my boobs in an uncompleted bulding near my house. Then later, one of the guys whose parents was at work used to take me to his house after school to have sex with me. At a point his house was the meeting place other boys would use to have sex with me. We were all teenagers at that time. The oldest may have been around 17. I am the last born of four siblings and the only girl. I used to overhear my elder brothers talk about sexual things. My brother would bring a girl into his room and he will tell me to come and knock the door to inform him if I hear our father’s car at the gate. In short, I was exposed to sex very early in life. Those early years shaped me in different ways.
I was one of those girls who wasn’t ashamed to be called ‘bad’, ‘promiscuous’ or ‘spoilt’. I knew I liked sex and I knew how to seduce the guys for it even at a young age. SHS was even worse and I remember the guys used to think I was cheap but that wasn’t my mindset. To me, I was having a feel of different types of manhoods. I remember many of the SU people coming to preach to me to repent and all that. Sometimes they just annoyed me. Other times, I really tried to repent. I tried to go days without it. But it was very difficult and soon I was back into sex again.
There was a time in SHS when we went for interco in another school. It was a boys school and one guy started vibing with me. We walked away from the games to where the classrooms were. Everyone’s attention was on the games so the place was quiet. The guy started groping my body and when I urged him on, he dragged me into the science lab and we had sex there. After that, we started dating but it didn’t work out because I was having sex with other guys in my own school since it was a mixed school and even the town boys in the school area. After that I did a diploma course. I even slept with two of my lecturers for a time before I completed the course.
By the time I met my husband, I had lost count of the number of people I had slept with. There was a time a guy approached me in town and reminded me that we did the same diploma course together and that we had even had sex once. He was shocked to see that I didn’t even remember the sexual encounter because I had slept with many guys when I was doing my diploma. Sex was like food to me. It was a necessity and guys are cheaper than girls. Guys can easily fall into my trap when I want it. I could just go to a club and get a guy to enter me. It was no biggie. I got STDs here and there but thankfully, I treated all of them and I don’t have HIV.
I met my husband at a friend’s party. I was dancing and he joined me on the dance floor. Later we exchanged contacts before we parted ways. He loved sex. It is one of the reasons why we clicked easily. When we were dating we could stay indoors all day playing with our bodies and even ignoring our hunger. But marriage has brought a certain level of seriousness to my husband. He gets very busy. I am doing some part-time job and I go on weekends. It doesn’t fetch much but it supports my husband. His work is more serious and demanding. At first we used to have sex in the morning before anything else. But now, he leaves very early and although he says that he prefers sex at night, he would sleep immediately after eating when he returns from work. In fact his favourite program will be showing on TV and he will still sleep. We have been married for two years and no child yet.
My husband tries to make it up to me on weekends but it’s not enough for me. I have been using vibrators to help fill the void but I like to experience a warm body humping me. I like to look into a man’s eyes and know that I am having sex with a human being, not a vibrator. Now suddenly I am seeing temptations everywhere. Men approach me and I want to be that teenager again. The teenager who gave herself to the area boys. I feel like deep inside of me, I will always be that girl who enjoys being fondled by guys all the time. I’m 32 now, but I haven’t changed a bit.
Even though I told my husband about my childhood, he brushed it off because he believes that most people do crazy things as kids and teenagers but outgrow them when they mature. I am afraid that my husband is maturing and outgrowing his wild sex drive whiles I’m here getting deeper into it. I am afraid I will cheat on a good man because when I am horny, I can’t control myself. I am afraid that I will be like this until I grow old. Sex addiction is real and I feel like I will never be free from it.