We have dated for close to two years. I don’t just love him. He is perfect for me. He is my dream man. When we argue, he knows how to accept his wrongdoing and duly apologize. I have dated men in the past and none of them have been this understanding and humble. I am 28, he is 32. He wants to settle down with me soon. We have spoken about this at length and I have agreed to go ahead with the marriage. My parents have however raised concerns about the health conditions of his family. I have known about this, but I haven’t felt discouraged or perturbed by it. My boyfriend wears glasses. The lens is so thick that he can barely see a thing when he takes them off. They are four siblings and three out of the four wear glasses with high sensitivity to light. They inherited that from their father who has gone completely blind now.
My parents don’t hate my guy or anything like that, they are just concerned that the vision defect in his family would be inherited by our future children. They sat me down and told me they wouldn’t want to have blind grandchildren in the future and there are many healthy men I can marry. Their words have greatly hurt me and I haven’t told my boyfriend about it because I don’t want him to be hurt as well. I thought these things happened only in the past when the parents look into the background of the potential in-law. I never knew these still happened today. I wouldn’t expect a health concern such as this to cause any friction between my parents and I
Now, the issue is, after my parents spoke to me, I am having second thoughts about him. I know it’s not fair to him because he has been so good to me that I feel bad for even hesitating in the whole situation. He has planned to officially come and do the ‘knocking’ next month. My parents will obviously find an excuse to not accept him. I am also suddenly undecisive because they have made me understand that marriage is a lifelong journey and the love I am feeling for him now will fade. I am also thinking about the future. If he becomes blind like his father, that will be a great burden to me and I am not prepared to handle that.
I need help to make my final decision because I genuinely love this man. I know very well that he loves me with all his heart too. He would never intentionally hurt me or anything. I knew about this problem in his family, but I was willing to marry him until my parents sat me down to talk to me. Now, I am not sure about him anymore. Are my parents overreacting or are they right? I haven’t discussed the vision issue in his family with him because I feel like it’s a sensitive issue in the family and I don’t want to bring it up.
