I am happily married. During our courtship, my wife and I agreed to have 4 kids. We discussed it at length and she agreed. Fast forward, we are married now. Our first child is three years and my wife doesn’t want us to try to have another child again. The birth of our only son came with a lot of complications we didn’t expect. Her blood pressure went over the roof and she endured other issues. In the end, the doctors had to perform a C-section. Our child came out premature and he had issues with his lungs at birth. Thankfully, this has been treated and the child is completely healthy. The issue is that my wife says she does not want to go through what she went through with our first child. She doesn’t want to get pregnant again.
She made this decision when our child was a baby. She told me one night that she couldn’t get pregnant again. I brushed it off because I knew the pain from the C-section was fresh. She had endured so much and I admire her for that. I supported her in the best ways I could and I tried my best to be there for her during the eight months she was pregnant. This is something I promised her. I told her I will always support her and be with her during the tough pregnancy period but she has refused to let us try having another child. She keeps taking pills when I have unprotected sex with her. What scared me the most is that she told me she is planning to undergo a medical procedure that will prevent her from ever giving birth again.
I have discussed this with her mother. In fact, her mother and pastor have been trying to convince her to change her mind. All their efforts have proven futile. A doctor friend of mine informed me that the fact she had a complicated first pregnancy does not mean all her other future pregnancies will be complicated. I invited this friend over to talk to my wife. She listened to what the doctor had to say. He even gave her tips on how to handle her next pregnancy well to reduce complications. I was there to reinforce my support. But I don’t understand her stubbornness. Initially, I was patient because she had been through so much for our son. But it’s been three years now, and she is still maintaining that she doesn’t want any more children.
Some time ago, I saw the pills she takes to prevent the pregnancy and I threw them all away. Just last week, I saw that she had bought even more. I asked her about it and she got all defensive about me being a man and never understanding how stressful pregnancy was. She said one child is enough and that she was never getting pregnant again. To be very honest, my wife’s attitude is becoming very very frustrating and I feel like I am losing my mind. I have been very patient with her. But it’s too much for me to take now. This is a woman I love. A woman I plan to have my kids with. I feel like she is bailing out on me after one child. We both agreed to walk this road together.
I feel like she has given up on us altogether. She is not even affectionate anymore. She doesn’t want me to make love to her. She doesn’t even seem to enjoy my company anymore. I didn’t sign up for this. Her attitude is just affecting me. I wake up to find a moody wife. I don’t know if it’s depression or I am overthinking everything. I am tired.