Growing up, I have always had more male friends than female ones. As an only girl born among 3 boys, I always felt more comfortable being with men than others of my own gender. Men are easy to talk to, they are fun to be around and there is generally less drama. My closest friends have always been men. I hanged around men in school, church and everywhere I found myself. Its like I was drawn to them and they to me. And it was all fun and games until after my adolescent years, when I became of age.
By age 20, I had developed into a beautiful grown woman and it became evident that most of the men in my life weren’t interested in just friendship anymore, they wanted more. Some wanted to have sex with me, some wanted to date me and there were also all other sorts of proposals. Ever so often, I would meet a much older married man, who would want to be a sugar Daddy to me. These men will shower you with all sorts of gifts and money, with the promise of much more to come if only you agree to share their bed.
The thing is, men who want to get into your pants will do almost anything to convince you. They will take you out on dates to fancy places, they will buy you gifts and give you cash whenever you need it. And when you have numerous male friends all doing the same thing, that can be a pretty comfortable life to get accustomed to. During my time in the university, barely any of my major expenses came out of my own pocket. The phone I used was a gift, my laptop was borrowed from a friend (I never returned it) and most times I went out for lunch, I had a male friend around who offered to pay.
In most cases, I made it clear that I wasn’t interested in a relationship and some of them took the hint and backed off. The vast majority however didn’t, and kept doing me favors in the hopes that I would change my mind. I never felt guilty about taking their gifts past that point, after all, nobody was forcing them to keep buying me stuff. Eventually, after spending a fortune, most of them realized that it just wasn’t going to happen and cut their losses. By that time however, I would have met another guy or two ready to start their own journey of spending money on me.
I remember some time in level 200, I had ever gone out with close to ten men in a single week. A man would drive to campus in the morning, pick me up and take me to breakfast. I had another man scheduled for lunch and supper, and sometimes the man who took me out to breakfast would return in the evening to take me to the beach or any big event happening in town. Saturdays and Sundays were for shopping sprees. I didn’t even have to ask them to pay most of the time, I just went along with them and their natural instincts would kick in when we get to the counter.
I never got intimate with any of these men, apart from the occasional hugs and minor kisses. Sex was a no no and I wouldn’t even get close enough for you to get ideas. Dating was the last thing on my mind. Why settle for one man when you can have them all? In the few instances where I dated, the relationships ended shortly because all my boyfriends weren’t okay with me constantly going out with other men – and I wasn’t ready to give up that lifestyle just yet.
If there’s one regret I have, its that I wasted so much money having fun instead of saving more and maybe starting a business. I also didn’t spend enough time building a career for myself. Most of the jobs I have had, I got because I had friends who knew people. Even then, I rarely paid any attention to work, because it wasn’t what was feeding me.
I am currently 32 years old and although I don’t go out as often as I used to, very little has changed. Most of my friends are still male and I still have several men orbiting me, although there are not as many as before. Most of the girls my age are starting to get married and my parents barely go a day without asking me when I will get married and give them grand children. Its like all my fears are coming true at once.
I just cannot see myself settling down with one man. No man can ever give as much attention and emotional support as 12 different men can. Unless I am fortunate enough to marry rich, no one person is going to be enough to provide for all my financial needs either. And even if I find that one special person who can fill the void, I don’t know if I would want them to. I’m just not ready to give up this life, although I know I can’t continue living like this forever.