We’ve been married for twelve years with three kids. We haven’t had any major problems in the marriage apart from the usual misunderstandings. We always try to solve our problems and that’s cool. Recently my husband has asked us to do a DNA of all three of our children. He says he can do it behind my back but after all the chaos that has happened on my side of the family, he is being as transparent to me as he possibly can. I don’t know how he expected me to take this news because no woman will be happy when her husband makes this request. I’m not scared of the results because I have never cheated on him. I’m just deeply sad that my own husband doesn’t trust me.
He impregnated me before we got married. We had been dating for close to two years and the pregnancy wasn’t planned. We had to speed up and do the wedding before the pregnancy became obvious to everyone and he knows very well that he is the only man in my life. So for him to make this request really hurts me so much. The most painful part is that he keeps referring to my mum as if we have both planned something. My mum is well into her 70s and just a couple of months ago, she sat me down and told me a long story. I was thinking she just wanted to chat just like old folks like doing but the story has affected me so much and now I even regret telling my husband about it.
My mum and dad struggled to have a child and during their time it was a big issue if a married couple didn’t have a child. According to my mum, when she was 14, she got pregnant but had a miscarriage along the way so she knew somehow that she could get pregnant. So when she married and it wasn’t happening, she didn’t understand and she guessed that my dad was the issue. When she entered her 40s, she had a secret affair with someone and she got pregnant with me. She said she told the man it was for her husband and they ended the affair. The man I have known as my father died several years ago even before I got married and he had no idea that I wasn’t even his daughter.
According to my mother, she has no idea where my biological father is. This news affected me so much because I feel like my whole life has been a lie. I wanted someone to talk to after the long story my mum told me and I informed my husband about it. I really regret telling him about it because I didn’t know he will use that as a weapon against me. After I opened up to him, he brings the issue up when we have arguments. He can just tell me he is not surprised I was born out of wedlock and my mother deceived everyone.
Now he says he can’t trust me and he wants to go ahead and do a DNA on our children. I have dared him to go ahead, but the trust between us is broken if he is judging me based on the actions of my mother. My husband doesn’t believe my mother just confessed the truth about my real father to me. He thinks I have known all along. I’ve asked us to go and ask my mother about the issue and he has refused, claiming I have already told my mum to lie to him. I don’t think our marriage can continue. My husband has proven that he cannot trust me and I therefore want to go ahead and divorce him. I just hope I’m making the right decision.