I have been a chubby girl since childhood. I have been called ‘obolo’ for as long as I can remember. I never liked that name as a child, but that is what many called me and I just accepted it. My mum and I are polar opposites. She was a cabin crew member before retiring officially recently. She always ate well and took care of herself. She was slim and very beautiful. But she was also never home. Her job took her away from home most of the time. It affected her marriage with my dad and they divorced when I was only ten. Many people doubt she is my mum when I post her on social media on mother’s days or on her birthdays.
I was raised by my dad. He was my twin. I looked very much like him. In fact, I even inherited his chubby structure. I grew up with serious self-esteem issues. People I called friends teased me about my size and body shamed my from primary all the way to SHS. After SHS, I failed my mathematics paper and therefore I didn’t get admission into the University. To add to that, my dad also passed on. During that period, I gained even more weight. I was home and I wasn’t going anywhere. My self-esteem became worse and at a point, I wasn’t stepping out of the house at all. I was buying everything I needed online and it was being delivered to my doorstep. I was even buying provisions online when it was being sold just across the street from my house. I didn’t want anyone to see me and pass a comment about my weight.
But at a point, I got tired of all this. I messaged a fitness trainer on Instagram and I started training with him. The beginning was very tough. I would give up and go back to eating junk food. I was packing all the weight I was losing again. But he kept encouraging me, and through that, I lost so much weight. I didn’t even know I had hips. But after losing the excess fat, my body became attractive. Then gym became an obsession. Soon I started getting attention from a lot of men. Something that I had never experienced before in my past. I was clubbing, sleeping around and doing everything I had missed. I was making up for all the years of fun I had missed.
All of this continued until I got pregnant for one very wealthy man who was already married. He wasn’t ready to marry a third wife. He already had two wives. He promised to take care of me and his unborn child. During my pregnancy, I gained back all the weight I had lost. Pregnancy humbled me in many ways and all my hard work became COS 90. But it didn’t stop me from getting back in shape once I had my son. The partying and fun continued and intensified. I was sleeping with everyone that showed interest and I didn’t even care.
Now I am a mother of three. All my three kids have different fathers. I am not working and I always have to beg them for money for the kids. I also recently found out I was HIV positive. I know that is not a death sentence. I am taking ARVs, and I am healthy. Thankfully, all my kids are negative. I wish I had made better choices in my life. I wish my mother wasn’t always away and my dad had sat me down to advise me well when he was alive. At least I have promised myself to be there for my children and raise them well. I just decided to use this anonymous medium to share my story and to advice the young ones out there to take it easy with life. I also hope parents will not just bring children into the world. I hope they will also take time to nurture them and show them the right path. It saves the child in the future.