I have been in a relationship with the love of my life for the past 5 years. I love him so much. I can’t imagine living without him and he also feels the same about me. We met in the University and we have dated since then. My boyfriend has epilepsy. We had dated a whole year before he had an epileptic seizure. He was very shy to tell me about it and I wouldn’t have known if not for the fact that he fell when we were on our way to lectures. It was a very scary moment at that time. I got angry with him for not telling me and we broke up because of that. He kept begging me and I really love him so I accepted the apology. Over the years, I have seen him go through seizures and I have helped him through it.
I have read widely about his condition and with the help of his medications, it doesn’t come often. He can go a whole year and just have 2 episodes if he takes care of himself well. I’m the only girl who has stayed after finding out. He wanted me to inform my parents before they find out on their own. He is sure they will. He has come to see my parents officially and the wedding date has been set to March next year. Sometime ago, I was chatting with my parents and I brought the issue of epilepsy up. I intentionally told them a friend of mine had the condition and the family of the girl he wants to marry have rejected him because of it. My mother said the family has done the right thing and epilepsy is a spiritual curse on my friend’s family. Then she said I shouldn’t associate with him because he could pass it on to people close to him.
My dad disagreed with mum. He said it was very archaic for the family to reject my friend because unlike what they were told in the olden days, the condition is purely medical and can be managed. This minor discussion became an argument between my parents and I was just sitting there wondering what they’ll do if they find out that the man they have accepted to marry me had the condition. My boyfriend still insists I should tell them before we get married. I disagree with him. I feel like they wont find out and even if they do, it will be too late because we’ll already be married at that time. His parents have been very secretive about his condition and he doesn’t have the severe type of it. He doesn’t foam on his mouth when he gets the seizure. He just goes unconscious for a few seconds and comes back.
Some have seen that happen to him and assumed he just collapsed, so many don’t know it’s epilepsy. Now with all I’ve said, do you guys still think its necessary to let my parents know? My guy is saying he doesn’t want to have problems with them in the future and he wants to be honest and truthful to them now. But we’re not being dishonest by not telling them. We’re just protecting our relationship. I don’t want anything to separate us and this is a minor illness compared to some chronic diseases people are battling with. I don’t know why epilepsy in particular is treated with so much disgust. Please tell me if I should tell my parents or any further advice on what to do. I want to be married to this man. Thanks
