So before I begin, I want the readers to know that anything I have done to hurt my wife was not intentional. As a man, I have tried to be there for her and love her the best way I can. I married her 11 years ago and we have two children together. I work in a government institution and she has a cosmetic shop in Accra. My wife can be the difficult type. She is not submissive and when she wants something, she doesn’t even consider my opinion or anything. It is one of the problems I have with her. I remember we had a serious fight when our first child was going to school for the first time. She had found a Montessori school and wanted her to attend. I told her the fees was too much and we could start with a private school in the area. My wife went behind my back and registered our daughter in the expensive school. Her attitude at home started to drive me away.
When I’m having a fight with her, she denies me s*x and even if I apologize, she doesn’t forgive unless she feels she has punished me enough. We can go two whole months without talking or having s*x because my wife is angry and won’t accept my apology until she feels okay. I started driving around late in the evening because wifey wasn’t making me enjoy home. One evening I gave this girl a lift. The way she was dressed, I thought she was one of those ashawo girls but I got to know she was going for an event. I flirted with her in the car a little and we exchanged contacts. We started chatting and talking about deep things. The way things were going I didn’t want my wife to suspect anything at all so I bought a new phone and a new sim card to be chatting her there. We started an affair and this girl was just incredible in bed. I got addicted to her the first time we did it and I wasn’t worrying about my wife’s attitude anymore.
I rented a place for my other girl and that was where we were meeting. She is the billing type but she is a very respectful and submissive girl. She never argues with me and she respects anything I say. I created an account for her and I was sending her an amount monthly for her upkeep. She knows I’m married and she doesn’t mind. She is okay with the whole arrangement as far as I am able to take care of her. She is a graduate and she doesn’t have a job, so I’m like a saviour to her. Sometimes I feel guilty, especially when my wife is in a good mood and shows me a lot of love. I’m also an elder at church and wifey sees me as a saint. She trusts me so much but her anger issues and unforgiving spirit is too difficult to live with. I tell her when we’re in talking terms that she should try and work on it.
So the thing is that I now have two children with my other girl. She has been with me for the past 3 years and now pressure is mounting up on me. I have hired a nanny for her to help her with the new baby she has given birth to but it’s like this girl wants me to be by her side almost all the time and it’s becoming difficult to maintain the balance I have maintained for the last couple of years. I am very good with my finances and I do investments, but oflate I don’t know, but it’s like my money runs out very quickly. The cost of living has increased and taking care of four children and two women is becoming a burden on me. In addition to paying the fees of some of my nieces and nephews.
I thought about telling my wife about my other children but I just can’t do it. The whole this is too disgraceful and the people who look up to me will be disappointed. I’m afraid my actions will lead people astray because some of the young ones see me as a role model and a saint. Especially with the way I and my wife always look happy when we come to church and attend programs. This situation is affecting me seriously because at this point it’s just a matter of time before the truth comes out. I can’t sustain this for long. I know I have done wrong and I need you guys to give me suggestions on how to go about this whole situation. My baby mama and I have agreed never to have another child. Both children were not planned but I sometimes feel like she used them to pin me because I always gave her money to buy pills. Any help?