Hello. Please I want to know what to do considering this my situation. I’m in one of the technical Universities in the country. My dad is late and my mum owns a chopbar. That is how she has been able to take care of all three of us since my dad died 12 years ago. I’m the first born and 19 years of age. My mum is always talking about how she can’t wait for me to marry a rich man so that I will not suffer like her. I don’t know but money really doesn’t move me. It’s not because I am sharing my story and I want to look good, but money does not move me like that. I am more of the quiet type and some things don’t move me like that. My mother’s attitude kept getting worse and worse. She even went to the point of encouraging my late father’s friend to pursue me. This man knows me since childhood and he was always calling me his wife. When I started growing up, I didn’t like it.
I started avoiding him. When school is on vacation and I come home, my mum will intentionally call this man and pretend as if she is checking up on him, then she will inform him that ‘his wife’ has come home for vacation. Within that week, he will come and visit us and bring things. He will tell me to come and sit on his lap, something I have been refusing. When it got to a time, the moment he comes to our house, I leave home until my brother calls me and informs me that he has left. My mother and I had an argument over how I have been avoiding the man. He has six children with three different women and he hasn’t married any of them. He is rich though and I feel like my mum is not being fair to me by trying to make the man marry me. I will never be happy with him. I was arguing with my mother and in the heat of the moment, I told her she should rather go and marry him since she herself is single.
My mother told all her sisters about this and I had to apologise to her infront of all of them. During the vacation, I started helping my mother out in her chopbar and I started this friendship with one of the guys who pound fufu. I don’t have friends like that and he became my only friend. I started visiting him and we had s*x. It was my first time. Since that experience, we started dating and we have been doing it a lot without my mum’s knowledge. I know I haven’t tried s*x with other guys to compare it with them. But he is very strong in bed and he can go for at least 1 hour before he is done. Some of my roomies in school talk about how their boyfriends cannot make them reach orgasm and some last just a few minutes. I somehow have fallen in love with him. He knows how to hit the right spots and I vibrate in bed.
Because of him I have come to understand why some people in school are addicted to s*x. It’s now very difficult for me to go a day without it. My boyfriend is an SHS graduate, but due to circumstances, he couldn’t further his education. He doesn’t have much, but he is the one I love and I want us to build a life together. We have started making plans together and saving money together. We are happy right now and we don’t want anything to separate us. One weekend when I was in school, my mum called me to come home the next day which was a Sunday. I went. We were just there when this man came to visit us. He said he knows my mother very well and he has divorced his wife and he is looking for a serious-minded woman to marry. I told him I was still in school and he was too old for me. My mother said I have insulted the man.
When the man left, I told my mother I was seeing someone who is just four years older than me and we love each other. When I told her, she asked me if he was from a rich home. I told her no. My mother said I should break up with him. She doesn’t know I am dating one of her workers. We have tried to behave normal at the chopbar. I have found out I’m pregnant. I’m scared of doing an abortion. My boyfriend said we should just run away. His family is in another region and his brother said he will find a place for him to work in one of his shops. He said I should just defer my course and continue later. I love this guy so much that I can even lie down for him to walk on me. He is the first real relationship and real love I have had and I don’t want to lose him. Now the pressure he is putting on me is mounting up. He lives in a kiosk in Accra. That’s where we have been meeting. The rent is due in less than a month and he wants to leave Accra and go back to his family.
He said his mother will take care of me and she will be happy about having a grandchild. My mother is also pushing me to marry a rich old man and I don’t know why she doesn’t want to marry them. Many people defer their courses in Uni. I can continue anytime. Please should I trust him and go with him? If he leaves me because of this, I don’t know what I will do, especially with this pregnancy. I cannot imagine a future without him. Please help me.