My hubby and I started dating very early. He has been the only man in my life and we were both in SHS when our love started. The bond was so strong that not even 4 years in different universities destroyed it. Because of me, he was coming from Legon all the way to KNUST on weekends to visit me. It wasn’t every weekend, but we scheduled it. We have not rushed anything. We have taken our time to know each other. Now, after eight years of being in a relationship, we decided to tie the knot. Our parents know each other very well and they know us too, so we didn’t face anything like opposition when we made our intentions known to either of them. Unfortunately, a major opposition came in the form of genotype. I have always known I’m AS. As a child, I used to have joint pains.
When I was taken to the hospital, the doctor said it’s because I’m a sickle cell carrier. From that day, I knew and read more about genotypes. My man is very athletic and energetic. I asked him about his genotype years ago and he told me he didn’t know. Looking at how he was, I just assumed he was AA. He hardly falls sick and he is very fit. Now, we have come to know that he is also AS. Our families suddenly started opposing the marriage. One of my cousins has sickle cell and it hasn’t been easy for her and her parents. My parents are using that as an example to destroy this bond I have with my man. It became so serious that our parents called a family meeting at his house to talk. Over there, we both expressed our decision to still marry and adopt kids instead of having biological kids.
We have come too far to end this 8 year relationship because of something we can’t control. The families didn’t like our decision. They said the only way out is end the relationship and any plans of marriage. We did all we could, we tried to speak to our folks individually. They still wouldn’t bend. Our love bond is so strong that not even our parents can split us. We had layed down our plans, so when we saw that our parents wouldn’t see reason, we resorted to the last plan; we will run and leave home. We have a mutual friend who was willing to help us. He was living in a 2 bedroom house in another region. I was staying with my parents, but my guy had a rented apartment. I started packing my clothes small when I’m going to visit. I didn’t even take much. It was the necessities I focused on. I wasn’t working at the time, but he is into photography and videography.
One day, we left to our friends place and settled in. We waited for the next day to call our families that we will not allow them to separate us. My dad was so angry he said he has washed his hands from anything pertaining to me. It was my mother who was worried and she will call me and beg me to come home. Meanwhile, I’m 25 years and old enough to decide for myself. His parents were also acting the same way, but he ignored them. Some weeks after we arrived, we did our own private ceremony with three friends present. We’re planning on an ordinance marriage before the year ends. We identify as a married couple now. We want to wait a little to see how we will adopt kids since we are still young. Now my husband is suggesting that I undergo a medical procedure that will ensure that I won’t be able to give birth permanently in order for us to have s*x as many times as we can with no fear of giving birth to a sickle cell child.
This plan isn’t really sitting well with me. Nobody knows the future. What if my mind changes or something happens and I want to give birth again? For now, I have gotten a sales person job here and it’s cool. Our finances are not bad because my husband is getting wedding gigs and many of them are in Kumasi and Accra so he goes and comes and there is money in it. Now that we are married, even though it is not with our parents’ consent, is it right to do this permanent procedure? Can you people advice me? My husband means no harm. He has proven that he loves me with all his heart and he means well.