I met this man on Skype years ago. During that time, Skype was very popular. He was in Canada and I was a University student. I was in level 300 and 23 years of age. He was 30 years. We bonded over so many things. Our interests and plans were so much in sync that it felt too good to be true. Although he was far away, we were doing video chats all the time. I can be in class and I will position my phone in a way for him to be watching me in class. I just made sure I sat at the back. I was studying a humanities course too so we were a lot. There was not a single day that I didn’t speak to him. Our relationship was so real and I started to trust him. We were always talking, all the time. My roommates came to know about him. I don’t even want to go into the freaky things we did on video call.
We were having virtual s*x on skype and talking dirty to ourselves. Then he started filling my ears with sweet things about his plans to marry me and have babies with me. About wanting to come to Ghana and take me back to Canada with him. Our relationship was so serious that I was turning down a lot of guys who expressed interest in me. One guy who was a friend to my roommate expressed interest in me. He was coming around to our room and even my roommate told me he spoke to her to help him to get to me. The guy was really into me and he was so nice I should have given him a chance but my head was stupidly in the clouds. I believed my Canada boyfriend so much because he will show me videos of nice places in Canada. He has given me a virtual tour of his nice apartment and the neighbourhood. Things were going so well that I didn’t want to cheat to spoil anything.I was thinking what if I go out with a guy here and he finds out? Afterall a lot of things are unpredictable in this world.
We never had a fight or anything. We continued our distance relationship for three years and then in the fourth year, he told me he was coming to Ghana for a visit. I was so excited and I couldn’t stop thinking about him the whole time. I was done with school and wasn’t working so I was still living under the roof of my parents and they were feeding me. He came down and I suggested I meet him at the airport with his family, but he told me no. He wanted to inform his relatives about me before introducing me to them as his official wife-to-be. I understood him. He booked a hotel and he was meeting me there and since we have been doing virtual s*x for years, we couldn’t stay away from each other.
We were having s*x like the food we were eating. I acted very foolishly and I trusted him with all my heart. He told me he will be in Ghana for three months and I believed him. I got pregnant and I told him about it. He looked happy and promised me that he will take care of us. Not knowing he was only in Ghana for two months and he had just a week to go back when I told him about the pregnancy. He tolerated me and decieved me for that week. Then I stopped hearing from him. The hotel attendant told me he had packed out. Weeks later I saw on his Instagram that he was back in Canada as if he never even came to Ghana. I didn’t know his family house or any of his relatives. Anytime I brought the topic up, he will tell me to be patient. I kept his pictures and started posting them on my Facebook and in groups, asking if anyone knew him.
That’s when one guy reached out to me. He said my guy was his classmate and that he is married in Canada to a white woman and they have a child. I couldn’t believe it. There was no sign of marriage anywhere on his social media and nothing showed he was married when we were doing all those years of video chats. But the man who told me was very sure about what he was saying. I started calling my guy on video and sending him messages there was no answer. In the end, I went on his IG and sent him a long message that I have found out the truth and that I know he is married with a child. I told him I was expecting twins. I had done the scan and I knew I was expecting twins. I told him hoping he will at least take care of us because I had become a burden to my parents. Instead he blocked me.
For five years, I tried to move on and forget about him. It was very painful, but my brother helped me and supported me with the kids; a boy and a girl. I gave them my father’s name. I didn’t know enough about their father to even give them his name. For a long time people thought my brother was even their father because of the same surname and he enrolled them in his own children’s school and was paying their fees. Then out of nowhere I received a call from messenger. Their father called me to applogize. He said he will be coming home for Christmas and he wants to see his children. I was so pissed that I told him I aborted them. Come and see how this man suddenly changed on the phone insulting me and calling me a prostitute and a murderer. Then he cut the line on me. A few days later, he called again asking me why I lied to him
He said he inboxed one of my friends on messenger and she told him the truth. All of a sudden he was sounding sweet on the phone. I asked about his wife and he said they divorced and she got custody of their child. So now that he has divorced his wife, he has remembered that he has kids somewhere. I am so angry. My brother is saying we should wait for him to come to see what he will say. But as for me I want to go to another region with the kids. Somewhere he will not find us in. It’s my turn to punish him and I want him to feel it well. The pain he caused me was too much and he doesn’t deserve to know the children. They have grown so nicely. I want to know what to do because I feel my brother is being too gentle and calm about the whole thing and I expect him to be angry like me. I need your advice please.