So this story may sound kinda wierd, but I just want to share to see what you guys think about it. I’m in a relationship with a good guy. He is the type many will call dbee, he comes from a well-to-do family and his parents have been very open and friendly with me since the day I started visiting him. My boyfriend is currently a Chartered Accountant and I just finished my first degree recently. He was my Teaching Assistant at school and that’s how the relationship started. He is a very orderly person. I haven’t met anyone that orderly in my life. He arranges his things in a particular way and he gets angry when things get messy around him. This attitude of his is in every single aspect of his life even to the point where he has a timetable for the food he eats everyday.
He knows what he eats on Mondays, Tuesdays and so on and he has written everything down. We spoke about this and he said that he is melancholic and that’s how he functions. He likes things to be in a particular order and if they’re not, it affects how he functions. He can get cranky just because he is 5 minutes late for a program or he wasn’t able to do his laundry at a particular time. Minor minor things like that can make him angry. When we have a date and I take a little long in dressing up, he gets angry and it affects the rest of our date. I have tolerated this attitude for long. I know that no temperament is perfect but I also know that we should all make an effort to accomodate each other in order to be able to live peacefully in this world. It looks like I’m the only one who has been accommodating his attitude.
So a few weeks ago, I saw his ‘s*x timetable’. That is what he has named it. He has drawn it like a school timetable and he has allocated the times for s*x on it. After seeing it, I understand why he could go days without talking to me because I didn’t pass by his place on a particular day for s*x. He never told me about the timetable and I am surprised I haven’t noticed it. It’s just that we do a lot of thing out of routine that I haven’t noticed that we have s*x on certain days and don’t on others. He is an Adventist and he has indicated on the timetable that Saturdays are Sabbath and so no s*x. We have been friends for a while, but we have dated for 5 months. I know I’m going to discover more weird things about him as time goes by.
I confronted him with the timetable thing and he says that is how he is and I should be glad he has factored in our time of intimacy into his schedule because it shows how important our relationship means to him. I honestly do not know how to take all of this. The good side about him is that he is very thoughtful, he never forgets birthdays or anniversary dates and he gives the best gifts because he pays attention to what I like or want at a particular point in time. But in the end, he appears proud because he is so unbending. He acts like he is perfect, and when we have arguments, I always feel like I’m the one who acts like the bad person and apologises even though he is at fault.
The fact that his whole life is structured is a good thing. As a sanguine, I wish I can live like that, but he is too rigid. He doesn’t like surprises and he always plans ahead and doesn’t want anything new. It makes it appear like our relationship is already becoming boring. He has a particular favourite eatery and a particular beach he likes. He doesn’t want us to try new places and as far as he doesn’t want us to try them, I’m supposed to understand because If I don’t, I’m not being tolerant of him. This is basically how he thinks and it’s a bit annoying sometimes. Do you guys honestly think a relationship like this will work? Because at this point, I really don’t know. I’m wondering if this is how all melancholic men are.