I am a 32 year old man and my genotype is SS. This means that I don’t have any choice but to marry a lady who is AA. My health has been a major problem for me growing up. From the stigma of people who don’t understand the condition to restricting myself from doing what a lot of other people may call fun. I have dated about three people before my current girlfriend. I didn’t know the genotype of the first one because we were young and she wasn’t willing to check. I dated the second one in the University and I thought she was the one for me. She told me she was AA and I informed her that I had sickle cell. She had not seen me sick since we started dating and so she didn’t fully understand what she was signing up for.
Fastftoward, I had my first major crisis. We were writing our final exams when I started feeling severe pains in my knees and wrists. For sickle cell patients, stress, cold weather and excessive exertion can trigger pain crisis. Around the exam period, I had done all of that so crisis was inevitable. My girlfriend at that time stayed by me during the first few days. But after some time, she stopped visiting and then I didn’t hear from her. I was taken to the sickle cell hospital at Korle bu to be treated because the crisis lasted for weeks and I even missed my exam. I thought it was the end for me. But after a month, I begun to recover and I got well. When I returned to school, I went to look for my girlfriend and she had moved on. She said she cannot stay with a sick person. I was very hurt but I just let it slide and moved on with my life.
With my third girlfriend, we had dated for a year and I wanted her to know that my genotype is SS. She was more supportive because her brother was also SS although he had passed away. But unfortunately for the both of us, she was AS meaning we are not compatible. After all the pain I have been through in this world, I would never bring forth another sickle cell child. Thankfully for me, I am not poor. I have a personal doctor who checks my vitals consistently and ensures that I do the right things. This has helped me to be healthy and I haven’t had a crisis in a while. Unfortunately many women leave me immediately they realize I have sickle cell.
Now my current girlfriend and I have dated for two years. My doctor actually linked her to me. She is AA and she knew I was SS from the very beginning. We have visited her family many times, but they didn’t know I am SS. There is a misconception about people living with sickle cell. Many of them do not look sick unless they’re in a pain crisis. Just recently I have proposed marriage to my girlfriend and she has accepted. At first she didn’t want to inform her family that I had SS, but somehow the family did their own investigation and got to know. Now they have rejected me. They said they will never allow their daughter to marry a sickler. Once again another relationship of mine has been destroyed by a health condition I didn’t even choose to have!
