I AM MARRIED BUT I DON’T REGRET MY ACTIONS

I am writing and sharing this story because it is a confession I want to make. I am glad I can hide behind the anonymity of this site and just allow myself some freedom of opening up to someone for the very first time since I begun cheating. I am what many will call a career woman. I got a good job right after school thanks to my dad’s links. I was pursuing my MBA alongside my work and doing a lot of professional courses. I rose through the ranks gradually and at 36, I am the youngest female manager at the branch I am working at. Marriage was really not my thing and I realised that although I was still young, the men who approached me with marriage proposals were the very old rich men, but I didn’t want to marry at all.

 

I would have liked to have at least two kids of my own, but I am not the kind of girl who will want to submit to a man because of the roles society has allocated to me. My dad gave me a lot of pressure and he arranged a marriage between me and his friend’s son who was turning 40 and had also not married. It has been two years in the marriage and everything is so mundane. He is the head of his father’s company and he doesn’t have time for me. I am also always busy at work and I don’t have time for him. This subordinate of mine who i’m free with started opening up to me about his marital issues. His wife is always not in the mood for s*x. This started as a joke. He will come to my office and jokingly tell me that my gender gives stress. Then he will tell me about the things his wife is doing.

 

Then we started having conversations for hours. Sometimes we will be the only two people left in the office and we will chat for long. Then on my birthday, my husband woke up and went to work like it was a normal day. Not even a wish. When I got to work, I received a loving welcome from all my staff, people giving me gifts here and there. The guy I was talking about bought me some very nice jewellery and he added red wine to it. I told him my husband is busy and if he likes we can drink the wine in the office after work and he sounded excited by that, so we put it in the fridge. Around 5:30, he knocked on my office door and asked if I was done working. I was so lost in the work I was doing that I didn’t know time had passed so fast.

Around 6, it was just me and him in the office. We started drinking wine and it happened. I didn’t regret having s*x with him. I have been s*x starved for months so it actually was a good feeling for once. I was tired of masturbating. The next day, we did it again and we have been having s*x for almost a month in my office. He is married like me, both of us are not in love with our spouses and we have found so much love in each other’s arms. We know we won’t divorce our spouses and we know marriage is a lot more complicated that the fling we are having. So we have agreed to keep this discreet friends with benefits relationship. It’s a win-win for us and we have promised to keep our whatsapp chats purely professional to avoid any evidence of our affair.

 

My husband and I have not had s*x in three months and he has not made any attempt to be intimate with me. I feel like I live with a stranger. I don’t regret having a friend with benefits. I’m just working hard to keep that relationship as discreet as possible. As a married woman, I wish I regret my actions, but I don’t. Afterall, we all have skeletons in our closet.