I got married a week ago. We are in love, or so I thought. I am 32 years and when you mature to that age and beyond, it’s not just about the feeling of love anymore. You start looking for a mature person who is willing to go the long journey of marriage with you. When I met him, he was coming to do business with the company I work with and I was one of the two staff who were constantly interacting with him. The other was a man. We started a friendship there and two years later, we are now married. He wants me to be happy and I see that he is trying hard to make this marriage work. I am doing the same thing, but the sense of guilt that has taken over me from the day before our wedding until now is just bothering me.
When I was 21 years, I was in a relationship with this guy. I have many exes, but I can say that he is the one I have loved more than all the other guys who have been in my life. Maybe I loved him more because we have known each other for so many years. It was a neighbourhood friendship that led to love. We were friends from our pre-teen years until he finally proposed to me when I was 21years after both dating different people and sharing our relationship experiences. He was 24 at that time. We dated for three years and we were always together. Everyone knew about our relationship. At a point, we had to break up. My dad had issues with his tribe and initially he didn’t care much that we were dating. But when he realised we were together for years and the guy was serious about me, he objected to it and restricted me from seeing him.
He and his brother also left their family house in the area to a whole different region and all of that separated us. We ended it with a lot of pain and it was the most painful heartbreak I have endured. I didn’t eat for days. To help ourselves move on, we deleted our contacts and stayed away from each other. I heard he got a job somewhere in Axim and I was also working in Accra. So in my heart, I wished him all the best and we tried to move on. I was 30 years when I met my husband and by the time I met him I had dated two people after that particular ex of mine and I was sure I had forgotten about my him.
The traditional wedding and white wedding were all scheduled on the same day which was a Saturday. On the Friday before my wedding, I saw my ex exiting his family house. He also saw me when I was leaving my house to buy something. I didn’t even know he was in Accra. My fiance at that time had gone to the airport to receive some of his family members who were arriving from outside for the wedding. I went over to talk to my ex and he told me he had come to Accra to fix his room in the family house and rent it out because his cousin who was staying there had relocated. We spoke for a long time and he knew I was getting married the next day. He had heard it. It was a bit weird standing infront of his house talking to him like old times when I was going to marry someone else the next day. He invited me into the house to talk a little.
It really did not look like a bad thing and I had really missed him. He was even more handsome now. My emotions took over me and the moment we entered his room I felt the nostalgia and I got teary. I still loved him so much and he still loved me too. We started to k*ss there and we had s*x. We had both forgotten the years that had separated us. After everything, we told each other it was best we stayed away so I don’t cheat on my husband. He admitted he was dating someone and I wished him all the best. The marriage ceremony went on smoothly the next day and he didn’t attend. It was better that way. I now stay with my husband at a different area, so at least I won’t risk bumping into my ex anytime he comes to his family house. But I can’t control what I feel when I think about him and since the last time we had s*x, we have been chatting again. He is the best guy for me, and my father who opposed our relationship is even now dead.
He would have even opposed my husband if he was alive because he is from the same tribe my ex is from. But by the time I met my husband, daddy had passed away and he had already succeeded in separating me and my ex. Now I am trying to love this man. I thought I loved him all this while until I met my ex again and all our memories are back. I don’t know what to do.