We have been married for eight years and trusting God for the fruit of the womb. I personally do not feel pressured. My wife is giving herself unnecessary pressure. I understand her situation. She wants to give birth at all cost and we are doing the best we can while we trust God. We have gone to different hospitals for fertility treatments and all of them have told us that medically, we are fertile enough to have children. I believe in God and I have been trusting him to come through for us. We are not financially stable enough to opt for more expensive fertility treatments, but we are working towards that.
My wife started going for evening prayer meetings on Mondays. She was persuading me to join, so once a while I would pass through. But after a while I stopped going. The church we go to is enough and I don’t really like those pray-for-me meetings. I couldn’t stop my wife from going though so I just ignored her. She started coming very late after those meetings. Sometimes 11pm or even later than that. Many times I would be sleeping and wouldn’t even know the time she returns. I didn’t like it. So I sat her down on one occasion and asked why they close so late. It wasn’t safe for her and I was concerned. She told me her case was special and the pastor does a separate deliverance session for her after the whole meeting is over. We talked about this. Spiritual things are sensitive and I didn’t want to say the wrong things, but it didn’t sit well with me. I told my wife she should stop going for that meeting. We can focus on our church meetings and trust God. She said no.
This continued for months until my wife suddenly told me she has joined the man’s church officially. She wouldn’t go to church anymore with me. She was going to be attending his church on Sundays. This came as a shock to me because my wife and I met at her church. In fact, she started that church as a baby and I joined in the youth service. She was also an usher. So to leave all of this and suddenly join someone else’s church was surprising. She told me the man of God said it was a direction from God. But I had had enough of it. I told her no. I was firm. We wouldn’t be going to different churches. We will stay where we have both grown and where we were both serving the Lord at. My refusal to let her join the other pastor’s church started the issues in our marriage. My wife became moody and very hostile towards me. I would beg her to please understand me. In the end, she told me the man of God said witches had blinded me so I couldn’t see that he was the only one chosen by God to help us get a child. I just ignored all that. Then the real shocker came. My wife said she needed a divorce. She was leaving me. The pastor said she had married the wrong man and me and my family were the cause of all of her problems. Her mother died two years ago and the man of God said my own mother killed her mother because my mother was jealous of the love and attention I was giving to my mother-in-law. All of this was so absurd and definitely not true. In fact it was even funny and I almost laughed.
But my wife was serious. In the end, I had to consult the head pastor at our church. He called for my wife, but she never came. Out of anger, I found out where the other pastor’s church was and I went there. His security guys and surbodinate pastors never allowed me to see him. I also went to one of the Monday prayer meetings unannounced and when I requested to talk to him, he said I was possessed and I needed to be delivered first. I warned him to stay away from my wife and I dragged my wife into the car and drove off. I knew I made a scene on that day and my wife said I had embarrassed her. Although she has never spoken of the divorce again, she has not forgiven me for that incident
My home is not peaceful anymore. My wife leaves home early in the morning and comes home when I’m asleep. She is a caterer and she has cancelled all orders and stopped working because the man of God said catering is not the job God has for her so she should stop it in order for a better door to open for her. I love my wife so much and I don’t want to leave her. If we never have children of our own, I would accept it and adopt kids as far as I have her by my side. I don’t know the future of our marriage because at this point, my brainwashed wife will follow any direction given to her by the pastor. Now she says she prays that the blindfold I have on my face would come off so that I see the light. My wife doesn’t know that she is being manipulated. I can confront the man of God 100 times, if my wife does not see that he is deceiving her, my confrontations will mean nothing. Now she doesn’t even want me to touch her because she has been told that she had married the wrong man. How can we have a baby when she doesn’t even allow me to have sex with her? I have never been this emotionally burdened in my life!