My wife lost her sanity completely when she gave birth to our second child. There was no history of madness during our dating period. I don’t know any member of her family who has gone insane. I only knew my wife was highly sensitive and she had experienced bouts of depression. I knew she was on anti-depressants that were given to her by her clinical psychologist. After our marriage, she was getting overwhelmed after every little stressful situation. She could get so overwhelmed that her baby (that is our first child) will be crying and she will just be absent-minded and have no idea that the child is crying. Just like she was in another world. In the end her mother had to come stay with us. The postpartum depression she experienced after having our first child should have stopped us from trying for another child. It was severe and intense. She got very suicidal. My wife was bathing our first child one time and she just dropped the baby into the basin. It was one of those episodes where she suddenly enters another world with no active knowledge of the world around her. Thankfully, the baby didn’t get hurt.
Her second pregnancy was a difficult one. She would have hallucinations and say very weird things. Things got out of hand and I consider myself lucky that she was able to deliver our second child before getting really worse. I stuck by her through all of this. We later realised she had stopped taking the prescription medications given to her by the psychologist a long time ago. We had to act fast because she wasn’t the woman I knew anymore.
My heart was broken when she was taken to a mental facility. Now, eight years later and we are basically back to square one. My wife always relapses and gets worse when she is discharged and she comes home. Her parents claim it’s a spiritual issue. They have gone to consult pastors and other spiritualists for help. All to no avail. Her mother has been of great help, but in most instances, I have taken care of our children on my own. My wife is not even sane enough to know she has children. That is how serious it is.
I have been strong for the children all these years. But I am tired, and I want to move on with my life. Her recent relapse has made me realise that my wife will never be the women I fell in love with. That woman is gone forever. I just hope that the hereditary nature of these mental health issues do not affect our children. Especially our daughter. I have endured eight years of this and I want to be happy. I want to be free of her and find another woman. I want to fall in love again. I want my children to experience true love and affection from another woman. Their biological mother is incapable of showing them that affection. Am I turning my back on my wife by wanting to divorce? That is the impression my in-laws are creating. She will always be a part of my life. She has given me a boy and a girl; two children whom I love with all my heart. Am I doing anything wrong for seeking my happiness for the first time in all these years?
