I didn’t set out to hurt any man. I didn’t intend to be dating two men for years. But it just happened. I met ‘A’ when I went to my auntie’s funeral in the Eastern Region. I had seen him before in the area when I was a child. My mum used to take me to her hometown on school vacation. So when he saw me at the funeral, we started chatting about old times. He knew my mum well so he asked about her and we became friends through that. When I returned to Kumasi, our conversations rather intensified. We were doing video call every evening and I started developing feelings for him. For him, he didn’t even propose to me. Both of us knew we liked each other so we started dating like that. He will tell me our future kids will be so beautiful and we will talk about our future together and all that.
‘B’ was my landlord’s son. I wasn’t staying in the house with the landlord and his family. We were just two tenants there. The landlord was very old, so we started communicating with his son. When my rent was due, they wanted to increase it and my co-tenant and I were very angry because they had increased it last year and we were already stressed over payment. So ‘B’ came to the house so that we talk about it. Somehow I explained to him how the increase in rent would affect me. I was drawn to him because he was really handsome and refined. He dressed very well and he was so understanding. He said he will speak to the old man and see. I really didn’t think he was interested in me. But he started chatting me on whatsapp after that meeting. In the end, they didn’t increase the rent and I became very close to ‘B’. He was inviting me out and I enjoyed it.
‘A’ visited me once a while and I also visited him once a while, but most of our relationship was online. We tried as much as possible to have fun online. We had live video sex sessions and anytime I visited or he did, we made sure we had sex to fill in the space of not being able to meet each other physically. ‘A’ was very good in bed and I think I love him more. ‘B’ was more handsome. His sex game was just okay, but he had more money than ‘A’. I started dating ‘B’ about a year after I started dating ‘A’ and I wanted to tell ‘B’ that I was already in a relationship. But he was too good for me that I couldn’t imagine him with another woman. He bought me so many things and he takes good care of me. We have been going steady for three years now and that means it’s been four years with ‘A’.
Now the problem is that, I am with both of them because of two different things. My parents know I am dating ‘A’. He comes from my mum’s hometown and my mum has approved of it because of that. His sex game is very good and I miss him all the time. But he is not financially stable and he is quite an illiterate too. He stopped school at JHS and he is learning car repairs. As an apprentice he is not getting enough to even take care of himself. Sometimes I send him some of the money ‘B’ gives me. ‘B’ on the other hand is a refined gentleman. Well-educated. Not very rich, but has enough to spend on me. Plus he has his own two-bedroom apartment. He even wants me to stop renting from his dad and come and stay with him because he wants to marry me soon.
Now I am very confused. I love both of them differently. Sometimes, I want to help ‘A’ financially because he is a good guy. Very hardworking and genuine. I cannot leave him because he can give very good sex. But ‘B’ too has the money to take care of me and he is well-educated and presentable. He fits me and I am so confused. They both don’t know I am dating them at the same time and sometimes I feel very guilty but I don’t know what to do because ‘B’ wants to settle down with me soon. But I can’t leave ‘A’