My husband and I are devout Christians and we take our faith very seriously. We met during church camp meeting and we started dating a year after. Our pastor preaches against sex before marriage and when I first met my husband, he was in line to become a deacon. He made it clear that he didn’t want anything to stain the good character and reputation he had built so we will not have sex before marrying. I agreed and I felt lucky to have a man who was this good and devout.
Our wedding was simple. We didn’t have a lot of money to do a grand wedding and we didn’t want to wait anymore because we were growing and we loved each other too. Our pastor was very instrumental in helping us buy some of the things we needed and its something I will forever be grateful for. I told my husband I wasn’t a virgin. I had lived a very wild lifestyle in school until I met Christ. He told me he had done a few things with women but all of that was in the past and there was no need to dig into that. Our wedding night was fun. We didn’t want to rush things. After all, we had many more years to stay together and do all the thing we wanted.
We started our intimacy on the couch and continued on the bedroom. One thing led to another and we finally got to the part where I got to see the thing in his pants. That was when it all went downhill. I have been with quite a number of men in my 20s but what I saw between my husband’s legs made my horniness vanish. The man was too huge. And not just above average, I mean abnormally huge. The type you only see in pornographic movies. He saw the look on my face and told me to calm down. We will take it slow. So we tried. But penetration was too painful. We used a lot of lube and tried all the positions but that timber in between his legs was just too much for me to take and because of that we didn’t have any real sex during the honeymoon which was sponsored by a good friend of ours.
When we returned home, my husband didn’t try to initiate lovemaking for the first few weeks. I just felt like he was giving me time to relax and open up to him. So I respected that. What I don’t understand is that, his penis looks like any other when it is not erect, but as soon as it gets erect, the size increases to the point you can’t recognize it’s the same penis you saw mere minutes ago. I asked him if he has used any drug in the past to enlarge his penis size. He denied doing that. But I sense he is not being truthful to me and I really want him to open up to me.
Now this thing has become a problem for me. It has been three months of marriage. Anytime he tries sex, I cannot take it and I find myself screaming and running away from him. But a few days ago, I decided to endure it. We used lube and I tried my best to endure the pain. I was glad I was able to satisfy him. But instead of enjoying the act, I was in serious pain. In the days that followed, I had to force myself to walk properly because of the severe burning I was experiencing in my vagina. I have not been raped before but I am sure this is how victims of rape feel. I have tried to hide my discomfort because I don’t want to hurt my husband’s feelings. Luckily for me, he is very busy with church activities and therefore he doesn’t want sex everyday. But I don’t know how I will endure this for all the years of our marriage. I cannot go through such pain all the time.
Sometimes, I wish I could open up to our pastor for a solution but I cannot imagine telling someone else about such a private issue. Even if I tell our pastor, what exactly will he do to solve the problem? Apart from this problem during sex, I love my husband and he takes care of me. We pray together and he is a really good man. I cannot even think of hurting him. But what can I do about his abnormally large penis? I am not a sex freak who needs to be pleasured everyday, but it would be nice to enjoy intimacy every now and then. My options are to either never have sex again or endure this pain and hope it gets easier in the future. I feel like I am being punished for being promiscuous in my school days.