Hello. I want to make this confession and also ask for advice and some steps to take to come out of this. I am 25 years of age and the last born of 5 children. Unfortunately, I lost one of my brothers to a motor accident 6 years ago so we’re now 4. My parents have been married for 41 years and my dad is even in retirement. My mum sells eggs. All my siblings have left home and doing their own hustle and they send money home to dad to take care of us. I’m an unemployed graduate. So 5 years ago, I was doing some updates on my dad’s phone when I saw evidence of his cheating on my mum. There were some very crazy chats and exchange of pics. I acted fast and took a screenshot of some of the chats and then sent them to my phone through whatsapp. Then I deleted the screenshot on my dad’s phone so he won’t know it. For weeks I was quiet about it. My father is the strict type and I didn’t know how to go about what I saw.
I almost told my mum, but I know how things affect her. She has not been okay after my brother’s death and I didn’t want to bring up anything since I found out about the chats around a year after my elder brother’s passing so it was still fresh. But I started watching my dad on my own. He was going out a lot and I couldn’t follow him. I overcame my fear one day and spoke to him that I knew he was cheating and I have seen chats. Knowing my dad well, I knew how he will react and he did just that. He got angry and warned me to respect him and know my place. I remember telling him not to do this to mum because she was still grieving. My dad just left the hall and he wasn’t talking to me for days because of that. Mum didn’t notice the tension though. Then about a week later, he came to tell me he will end things with the other woman but I should make sure I don’t tell my mother. I was relieved and agreed to not tell mum.
I tried to forget it and move on. Months passed and school resumed. Our house is close to my hostel so I was coming home a lot and I kept watching him and didn’t see anything suspicious. Then one day I heard him on the phone chatting with someone. Mum had gone to a wedding and he thought I was in my room. The moment he saw me standing there, he stopped the call and asked why I was eavesdropping. That day, we argued and screamed and it was left with just a little, we would have punched each other. Then he told me I won’t understand and it is only when I get married that I will understand. He went back to giving me the silent treatment. Later, he became nice to me and finally taught me how to drive with his old manual car after begging him to teach me before I was even 18.
We didn’t speak about his cheating and he became very nice to me. This didn’t happen in a day. But gradually I came to understand that my mum wasn’t allowing him to do the do and he was getting it with the other woman. He didn’t tell me plainly but he gave me enough hints to understand. He makes sure to never bring her home even when my mum isn’t around. Then around the covid lockdown time, my dad was driving me to go and get all my belongings from my school hostel and we passed a different route to the other woman’s house. My dad went inside and told me to wait in the car. That was the first day I saw her. She came out a few minutes later with my dad. She’s a woman in her 30s with a lot of goods in front. My dad didn’t have any reason to step out in the lockdown so when I told him I had to go get all my stuff from school per the directives, he saw it as an opportunity to go and meet her.
Now it has gotten to the point where I make stories up and drive my dad to his mistress and leave them to go and make my own rounds. I’m not that close to my siblings to open up to them about this issue. My dad has also been very nice to me and allows me to go out in the night and do what I like. Now, he even buys wine for the two of us to booze a little. Especially when mum goes for all-night. Which happens almost every Friday. But deep down I feel like an accomplice in dad’s crime and I feel like I am betraying my mother. She has told me she’s happy with how I now get along with my dad and he is not strict with me anymore because I’ve grown. But I know that’s not the reason why he has become cool with me. My dad is so lenient with me now that he no more complains when I use his car. In this world cup season, when the normal TV stations don’t show the matches, he’ll tell my mum we’re going to watch outside. But I’m the only one who goes to watch because he goes straight to the other woman.
After the match, I drive and pick him back home. I’ve ate his mistress’ food many times. I need the steps to take to come out of this situation. What kind of son betrays his mum in this way? Is it better to continue keeping quiet? You guys should please tell me what to do. I will be reading the comments.