Hello admin. Please post my story. I really need your advice and that of readers please. I’m the only child of my parents. My dad is a pastor and he was very strict on me. We have a store in front of our house too. A sales girl was working for us. But sometimes when I came home from school, she’ll leave the store for me and go out small. She always made sure she came back before my mum returned from work. Dad was always travelling for ministerial engagements. There was this man who was coming to buy things from the store. He was in his 20s and the older brother of one of my classmates. They stay just across the street. He will come to the store and buy water, and leave the change with me. Sometimes he will come and he wont buy anything, but just give me money. He told me he likes me and I shouldn’t tell anybody.
I remember I was 13 years when he told me he liked me. He asked me if I was also 13 like his sister and I said yes. He said he wanted to marry me when I grow up. I was always shy of him, but I also wanted him to come and give me money and tell me nice things and I also had feelings for him. This was going on for sometime. Then he started inviting me to his house. I’ll tell the salesgirl I was going to do my homework in my friend’s house. Then I’ll go. But my friend was also the type who goes out to play with other people right after school. So when I go, her brother takes me to his room and just fingers me and then he will make me play with his thing. We were doing that small small. He will be pressing my breasts. At that time they were not fully developed, but they were still out and I liked the feeling a lot. We were doing this well until I was 14. Then he broke my virginity.
He was giving me money to keep quiet about it. Then I got pregnant. I remember I was always sleepy and tired. My mother asked about my menstrual cycle and when I couldn’t give her any good answer, she took me straight to the hospital and they confirmed the pregnancy. My dad beat me at home and I led them to my friend’s house. The guy was arrested by the police. My dad reported it. The thing spread in the area that the pastor’s child was pregnant. We left that area to another place and I was taken to a JHS boarding school. But before that, my dad spoke to someone and they took me somewhere to abort the baby to cover any shame. So many years passed and I have been in different relationships. I have never seen that guy again, but I heard he was released shortly after we left the area. My dad didn’t pursue the case.
I met my husband when I was doing my NSS. He was an employee at the place and he got lucky to be retained two years before I started my NSS there. I was taking instructions from him and before I finished the NSS, he expressed interest in me and I accepted. He fought for the company to retain me but they didn’t. He helped me design a CV and he was sending me any vacancies he came across. I got a job 3 years after NSS thanks to him. And we got married two years after that. I was 27, he was 29. Since we got married eight years ago, we haven’t been blessed with the fruit of the womb. We have gone to all the fertility clinics. There is no problem with him or me, and we have s*x often, but nothing has come out of it. We are even tired of calculating the best times for s*x.
He likes playing with children a lot and its really sad seeing him playing with his niece and nephew when he got married before his younger sister but she has gotten married and has two kids now. He doesn’t know about the abortion I did when I was 14 years old. I wanted to tell him. But my parents are saying the abortion hasn’t done anything and they will keep praying for us. We don’t have enough money to opt for the scientific method although he has suggested we gather money for that. My husband is a good man. He has never insulted me or been angry with me on the basis of my not being able to get pregnant. His family has also not said anything mean to me. I haven’t heard anything like that. Right now, it’s my own guilty conscience and my past abortion that’s haunting me. I want to go and look for the guy who impregnated me. I don’t know if he went to do something to lock my womb to punish me.
I never told him I was pregnant. I didn’t even know it early. It was my mum who saw it and my dad called the police on him to disgrace him. I don’t know if there will be a solution if I go back to that area and look for him. Just in case. I don’t want to lose this marriage. My husband is the best man I have ever been with. I also want to give birth before someone who knows my past tells him about the abortion. My dad is saying that everything is under control and he is doing fasting and by the end, I will get pregnant. But this is not the first time he has said this and still I am not pregnant. Please I need advice on what to do. I can’t sleep because of it.