I have not had peace of mind for years now and this hatred is just taking control of me. The two of us were like sisters. We did everything together. Our friendship started from University and we continued like that. We shared everything and we even used to run shifts with our cooking. If she buys foodstuff this week, we will cook and eat together and then the following week when I buy my own we will cook. But in spite of the way we were and the love we used to show ourselves, I was always secretly jealous of her. She is more beautiful than me and everywhere we go, she got a lot of attention from everyone. I feel really bad for what I am about to confess, but I pray that through this confession, I will free myself of this load and be happy for once in my life.
There was this job offer she got after we finished NSS. She went for the interview and everything and she was hired. Out of excitement, she came to inform me about it. We were renting in the same room after school. When she came to tell me, I was so jealous of her. She always had everything working for her and now she was getting a job before me and I couldn’t bear the thought of her getting this job. So I started finding ways to make her lose her job. She told me about how strict her boss was and how important the work meant to her. She was sending money home to her parents and truthfully she started paying our utilities without asking me to pay. I was so clouded with jealousy that I didn’t think straight. One night when she was fast asleep, I took her work laptop and formatted it. Very important files she was working on were all lost. When she woke up, she didn’t check her laptop to see if the files were there. She just went to work like that. The whole day, I was restless and waiting for her to call me with bad news.
Luckily for her, the company had a backup of all the files and she got them all back. Her boss didn’t even know she lost them because a colleague helped her to regain all and taught her how to backup everything. She stopped bringing her laptop home and left it at work so that agenda didn’t work for me. The more she got lucky, the more hatred I got for her and now it became as if I was fighting to defeat her but she had no idea the things I planned. 😭 I feel so bad for sharing this, but I just want to be free. I called her office anonymously to accuse her of embezzling some funds in the company. They put her on suspension for a while and they investigated the issue. Nothing was found and she came back to work as if nothing had happened. All this while she was crying on me and wondering who was doing this to her.
With time, what I feared came to pass, the company gave her a place to stay and she left me in the single room we were renting. She was calling me to check on me everyday and even sending me money sometimes. The money she was sending me made me hate her even more but I couldn’t get something concrete to create her downfall. She started dating this guy and she told me everything about it. She trusted me so much that we talk about everything. I tried to flirt with the guy, but that didn’t work and they are still in a relationship as I speak now. I got fed up and I started saying bad things about her to people who knew her. It was so bad and I couldn’t control myself. One of them told her and she asked me about it. At first I was denying it, but that was the moment all the hatred in my heart came out and I told her how much I hated her.
After that, she has blocked me everywhere. I even heard she moved from where she stays to another place and she is getting married soon. I want to come back into her life. I am very broke now that she has stopped helping me and my rent is almost due. I don’t have any job and there is no where to go. I created a fake social media account and I stalk her pictures on social media. Anytime I see her I am filled with more hatred and I want to do something to her but sometimes I miss her and I want her in my life. Why are some people so lucky that they get everything they want? I am making this confession so that you people help me get rid of this hatred I have for her. It started small, but now I feel it’s getting worse everyday and I can’t concentrate on any other thing. I think about her everyday. I think of how perfect her life is and of how she is living a good life and I am here struggling. I need help