Many times young women who work under older male bosses play the victim. Some of my male counterparts are guilty and they take advantage of the system to sleep with these young girls, but there are other men who respect themselves and these young ladies pester them continuously until some of them give in. I have a very good friend who was dealing with a similar issue. A young lady who came to intern at his workplace tried to get him in bed for a long time, in the end, my friend couldn’t control himself after several advances made by the young lady. She even went as far as bringing out her breasts for my friend to see in his office. In the end, he couldn’t overcome the temptation. He slept with the girl before she finished her internship and had to give her money to keep quiet about it.
He admits it’s one of the biggest regrets of his life. This is just one example of the many I have so I have armed myself and resolved never to stoop to that level. I have had many chances to take advantage of these girls. Many of them are very good-looking and it has taken a lot of willpower to say no to a young woman willing to give herself to you. But recently, this girl went so far that I had to cut any form of contact with her. I could have done worse, but I knew that beyond her desperation is a young girl who is just trying to find herself so I don’t hate her. I’m not going to mention the workplace or what we do, but I am the head of the branch I work at. I have a naturally outspoken and outgoing personality and as a leader, I make sure I know the people who work under me.
Sometimes I forget names, but I never forget their faces. Every year, when we get a new set of NSS personnel, I free about an hour in my busy schedule to talk to them and advice them about life skills, work ethics, CV writing, Interview mistakes and a whole lot. This is something I do personally and it’s different from the general orientation we do in our company for them. For those who ended their service this past July, we had 3. We usually get 5 or more, but it was just 3 this time. Two guys and 1 lady. So I spoke to them as usual, gave them my personal contact and told them they could see me as a mentor and my doors are always open. The guys were cool. Within the period, they brought their CVs and I helped them in editing them for the job market. One of them has gotten a job through me. He showed a lot of promise so I spoke to a friend and he got the job. I’m still in contact with the other and he is still searching.
The lady is the problem. I have met some very daring seductive girls, but this has been the worse by far. I don’t want to say this, but the girl has no shame. Since the day I introduced myself formally to them, she started finding the slightest excuse to come see me. I’m on the fourth floor of the building and I politely told her that if it wasn’t urgent, she shouldn’t come all the way up. I saw what she was doing very early. Wearing some very tight official clothes that show enough cleavage. One of my workers spoke to her about her dressing. I informed my secretary that she should give her an excuse anytime she wanted to see me. I wasn’t seeing her for weeks because of that. This girl then migrated to whatsapp. Now at this point I want you guys to see how serious I am about my marriage vows and how much I love my wife. We have been married for 22 years and we have maintained accountability to each other and it has worked for us. When the girl started flirting, I showed the messages to my wife and she laughed.
I didn’t even reply. I set the whatsapp Disappearing feature for only her messages and my blue tick feature has always been off so she couldn’t tell if I was reading her messages or not. She started by compliments. Telling me how she wishes I was her dad, how she likes my personality, how my wife and children are lucky to have me. Then she continued by telling me she wants relationship advice and many guys are chasing her and somehow she likes older guys. One time, out of the blue, she sent me a picture of herself in our company washroom. Her cleavage was the focus and she asked me how she was looking. I still ignored. She started sending me nudes. Complete nudes. Some of them were close shots of her ladyplace. But where I had had enough was when she sent me a 20-minute video of herself m*sturbating.
That day, I told my wife that the girl now sends me nudes. This time, she told me to call her and talk to her. When I reached the office that day, I called for her. I was very firm and straightforward. I insisted that the door be kept open and for my secretary to see us. I didn’t want her to try any crazy thing with me or accuse me of rape. But I spoke to her in a low voice so the secretary wont hear us. I told her she was like a daughter to me. My first daughter is older than her. I adviced her to focus on trying to use the right ethics to reach the top. I told her a lot, hoping she would listen. She didn’t. Just the following week, she rushed to my office again. My secretary tried to stop her and I could hear the noise from outside so I stepped out and told the secretary to allow her in. When she entered, she started crying and telling me about how bad her mother’s health was and she needed some financial assistance.
I gave her ghc500 and she thanked me. I eased up a bit and she started coming to visit my office again. I didn’t want to be too hard on her. So I was advising her anytime she comes, just like a father will do and I was hoping she was taking it. One Friday, she entered my office acting weird, asking me why I was doing this to her. Telling me she wants me and I should stop holding back. I stood up from the desk and I was going to open the door for her to leave. I had told her several times to leave the office and she wasn’t doing it. When I got up, this girl held my thing and started rubbing it. I held her and pushed her away out of anger. Then I left the office, descended my floor and told the security that he should make sure the girl doesn’t climb to my office again. This was the attention I was trying to avoid and rumours started spreading that I was dating her.
Many of my workers know me well so thankfully the rumours died early. I have friends who work in the NSS secretariat and I called one and asked for the girl’s transfer to another place. She had done about 7 months with us. The following week, she was transferred to another region to do her NSS there. Her mother came to see me personally to beg me to let her daughter stay in Accra, even if she wouldn’t work with me. Her mother wasn’t sick. She was even young and well-mannered, contrary to what she told me about her being an illiterate in the village who is very old. I told her what her daughter said about her and she said it wasn’t the first time this has happened.
I spoke to my friend again and they changed her posting again. It was in Accra, but far from my company, so it was okay. I blocked her contact and I thought it was over. This young girl started coming to my workplace. At this point, all the staff knew about her attitude. I could have easily called the police. I just felt pity for her so I let my security stop her from ever entering the work premises. She started calling me with a different number. One time she called me at night when I was with my wife. I just gave the phone to my wife and she spoke some sense into her. She didn’t stop calling me with different numbers. Anytime I answer and realize it’s her, I block that number. For some months I haven’t heard from her. After this experience with this NSS girl, I don’t think I will give my contact to the new ones coming in November. The youth of this generation are not willing to go through the process. They want to sleep with anyone for favours and shortcuts. I hope we all learn to do the right thing. The principle of ‘you reap what you sow’ still applies. I know the system is partly to blame, but some people are getting good jobs through hardwork. It is still possible.