Hi please post this for me on your page. Before I share my story, I am begging you people to please not insult me. The kind of depression I am experiencing now and my mental health will not be able to handle any more please. In July, my husband and I did a traditional marriage. The white wedding was supposed to have happened the following week Saturday, but because of certain things, it didn’t come on. We postponed it to the following week again, but all the Saturdays were booked in the church and now we have gotten 12th November to finally do the wedding. We have been married for 3 months and everything is so different from dating. My husband doesn’t have time for me again. No date nights and movie nights and apart from s*x, It feels like staying with my brother. It’s just someway.
One of my husband’s friends came down from abroad a few weeks to our engagement. They were very close before he travelled and he was building a house so he wanted to come and inspect it. The project is in my husband’s hands though but I guess his friend wanted to be sure. He was staying with us for the time being. I’m not doing any serious work right now. I lost my job during Covid and I’m trying to start selling something online but as at now, I’m not working. When my husband leaves for work, it’s only his friend and me in the house. So we became friends and he was even asking me if my husband shows me love because he doesn’t even see us showing affection for each other. I just tell him I’m okay. We were watching movies the whole day and we didn’t mean to start doing something but one time while watching a movie, we got close and he cuddled me from behind.
I missed that feeling so much because my husband doesn’t do it. Even the s*x is like once a week or once in two weeks. As a newly married couple, I was expecting us to be doing more of it. It started as cuddling and we told ourselves it was just cuddling. But another time we starting doing things. It wasn’t planned. He didn’t have protection and we just did it like that. I bought a pill later. He had wanted to stay for our wedding when he thought it will be the week after the engagement, but he had to leave in September because that was the plan. I had a lot of s*x with him from July ending until the September when he left. He also left before I found out I was pregnant and the week I found out, I decided that it wasn’t for him, but for my husband.
I started being very nice and submissive to him (my husband) in a way that made him respond more to me and we had s*x more often. I told him that I am pregnant just recently and he was very excited. But I’m so scared. I don’t know how to even start the calculations. There is a small chance that it’s my husband’s baby. We were doing it once or twice a week within that period. But with his friend, it was everyday after my husband leaves for work. I called his friend on whatsapp video call and told him about the pregnancy. He was very quiet for some time. Then he said I should secretly do a DNA and if it happens to be his child, he will send me enough money for the baby and no one will know. He wants me to be quiet about my affair with him and not say a word to a single soul. He will return to his house in Ghana next year all things being equal. He also told me he has a serious girl here and they have been partners for many years.
I’m not hurt that he has a serious girl. We were both having fun and I understand it was no strings attached although I miss his s*x. But I wont cheat again. I’m just scared the baby will come out looking like his friend or my husband will one day ask for DNA or something. I should have aborted it when I could without informing my husband I was pregnant. The timing is also some way because it means the baby might be due a few weeks before the time I told my husband. These days too he is being very romantic towards me and he has changed. The way he is behaving is making me feel even more guilty than ever. I have become very depressed in addition to the pregnancy hormones and sometimes I just want to confess to him and be free.
If he won’t marry me again, I will understand. But I can’t imagine the level of shame it will bring to my family. It will also spoil his friendship with his friend and I honestly don’t want to be the cause of that. When I hear stories of women who have kids with other men and their husbands find out through DNA, I used to say that I can never do that. These women are wicked, but now I know that I just walked in their shoes and I understand. It is not easy like that. Please readers, what should I do? I am 24 years. My husband is 32 and his friend is also in his 30s. I can still abort, but now both of the men know I am pregnant and they want me to have the baby. Should I just abort it and tell my husband I had a miscarriage? Please any advice?