I was with wifey for 8 years. She wasn’t giving me attention and s*x. It was either she was tired or she wasn’t in the mood. One excuse after another. I moved towards the househelp and she sorted me out. I stopped bothering wifey with s*x and anytime I wanted it, the househelp was there to sort me out with it. When time passed and I didn’t ask for s*x, my wife found out and started accusing me of cheating. She had no evidence, but she knew me very well. She knew I couldn’t go days without it. I never denied it when she accused me of cheating. I just told her to believe what she wants to believe. I was hoping she will come around and ask me for it cos women like the s*x too. Some like it even more than the men. My wife never denied me s*x when we were dating and early on in the marriage.
But after the kids came in and her work became more demanding, she started feeling pompous and denying me s*x. Her educational level and salary were higher than mine. All of this happened after we got married. That didn’t worry me as long as she would see me as her husband. She never caught me red-handed with the maid. There were some midnights when I sneaked out of my bed and joined the girl in her room. My wife worked a lot during the day, so when she sleeps, she sleeps very deeply. It still didn’t mean she doesn’t wake up in the midnight to maybe pee. My guess is, she woke up one midnight and I wasn’t there and she may have heard us going at it or she put two and two together. She’s a smart woman. We woke up one day and she asked for a divorce. She said I was a cheat and there was no need to continue staying with me.
She told me I could go ahead and marry the househelp since she is performing the wifely duties well. I tried to persuade her to forgive me and just sack the girl to save our marriage. We men are moved by the things we see, so maybe if I don’t see her in the house, I will not go after her. My wife didn’t listen. She divorced me and took the kids with her. The children were spending only weekends with me. I didn’t complain. I was in the house with the househelp. I don’t know how to call our relationship. S*x was involved, but she was just a househelp working for me and living under my roof. Just to add, she wasn’t underage. My wife shared my story on another site about how I cheated and how men are cheats. I read that story and I wanted to reply, but I just let it slide and focus on my life.
Covid happened. It hit my ex-wife’s company bad. They started laying off workers. My wife wasn’t sacked. But the company just collapsed. I’m a bank teller. We tellers just dress nicely but the pay is not enough. Two months ago, wifey came to visit me. Something she has never done since she divorced me. She hired a driver to be bringing my 2 kids to me and returning them. She vowed never to come to my house again. She said she hated me. We didn’t separate on a good note at all and the few times we spoke on phone was because of something relating to the children. Wifey came to visit me one weekend. She wants to come back to me…lol. Maybe she misses my d*ck and couldn’t admit it. She said her money situation is not good. She has gotten a small hustle, but nothing better. Meanwhile she removed the children from the school I put them in and got them admitted in an expensive Montessori school.
She was paying for the fees so I didn’t complain. Now she is saying the school is a good school so she doesn’t want us to remove the children from there. Rather we should marry again and join resources to raise our children. She claims she is willing to forgive my infidelity. I forgot to add that the househelp left me last year. She needed to go back to her family. I miss my wife. I miss s*x with her. I miss the time we were dating, when we were both crazy in love. But too many things have happened for us to go back to being together. I have cheated, she has said some very disturbing things to me. I can accept her and never remind her of our past. But I know women and I know her paaa. She will get angry and accuse me of cheating with the slightest misunderstanding. Everyone around me is either saying I should accept her back or forget her.
My parents want me to take her back but they don’t control me. I’m a grown ass man who makes his own decisions. Her parents are dead, but her own big brother called me a cheat and I had an argument with him that almost led to a fight. He doesn’t want me near his sister. Friends are saying different things. For the sake of the kids, we could come back together. But too much has been broken in our marriage and I don’t know if we can mend it. The love for her is still there but…I’m just a confused guy right now and I want to see what you guys will say. I cannot promise I won’t cheat again. But as long as she doesn’t deny me s*x, I will stick with her. I’m 40 and as a guy, I’m still young. Maybe I should move on and maybe I’ll meet someone better. A lot of stuff going through my mind now. You guys can chip in your opinions. Admin..I appreciate.