Before anything, I want to commend you for the good job you are doing. I believe many people are finding solutions to their problems. I also hope I will find a solution to mine. This is how my story goes: 6 years ago, I was a fresh graduate struggling to find a job after NSS. There was this coursemate of mine who I was interested in right from the first time I saw her. Those days in school, when exam is approaching, we form study groups to recap the whole sem’s academic work. I was in the same hostel with the girl I’m talking about so we were also in the same study group. I got close to her but it looked like she wasn’t interested in any relationship at that time. She used to tell me about all the other guys proposing to her and she not being ready to date at all.
So I just decided to stay close to her and be her friend so that she sees that I am really not here to play with her heart and dump her. When we were about to finish school, I mastered courage and told her about my feelings and how much I have been interested in her from the first time I saw her. Her response really hurt me. She said I’m not his type and I wont be able to take care of her. Somehow, I took the rejection in good faith but I didn’t give up. I was still asking her once in a while to give me a chance. This went on throughout our NSS and then about a year or two later. I will always beg her to give me a chance. At a point, I was buying call credit and data for her and she will always complain that it’s not enough. At a point I adviced myself. I got to know that she was in a relationship with someone else and she will never love me the way I love her.
I deleted her number and left her alone. She never called me to even ask about why I stopped calling her. All this while I was the one who was calling and I accepted the bitter truth. Later, one of my uncles linked me to an accountant job in a government institution and I started working. Then I chartered and got promoted. The pay was really good. I started going out with this girl. She is the sister of one of my male friends at work. We have dated for three years now and I’m even planning to marry her next year although I haven’t told her yet. I really like her. She is very understanding and she doesn’t bill me. I send her money when I feel like it, but she doesn’t force me to buy her things like most Ghanaian girls do so I think I can settle with her and have a family.
Recently, I got a message on Facebook messenger and it was the first girl I was chasing in University. I went through her Facebook pictures and she has become even nicer than I last saw her. We have been chatting and she said she likes me and that she hates herself for how she treated me years ago. I told her I was no more interested in her and that I was in a serious relationship. She accepted it, but we became friends again. We chat for hours and then she said she wanted to meet me. She was always worrying me with meeting me, so one day I told her I was free and she sent me her location. I drove to pick her up and we went to eat. Another time, we went to purple pub in Osu. Then it became normal. Almost every week we were meeting. My girl noticed it and I started lying to her all the time. It always made me feel bad afterwards. But this is a girl I have liked for years and all of a sudden she was willing to give herself to me.
One Saturday we went to the beach, when I came to drop her off, she insisted I come to her place to eat something and wash down. That day we had s*x three times. The following week, I went to her place again and we repeated the same thing. Now she said she is pregnant and I should marry her or she will kill herself and the baby. I haven’t told my girl. She will surely leave me if she finds out that I have impregnated someone else. But after my Uni friend’s pregnancy, I have seen how manipulative she is and now I can see that maybe I didn’t love her. I was just drawn to her body because she has a very nice body. I wish I can stay with my girl and focus on having a future with her because she seems more serious-minded. Now this girl too is threatening to commit suicide and to destroy my current relationship and any future relationships I have. She said she will not allow any man to make her born one and the only solution is to marry her. When I suggested abortion, she started crying and saying that she will rather kill me than kill her baby. I know I’ve messed up big time. But we all make mistakes and I believe this page is here to help us find solutions so please be kind with your comments. I need help on how to solve this please.