Hi. I’m a woman in my 30s and the past year has been hell for me all because of one stupid decision I took. I went to a popular entertainment event around Christmas in 2021. Covid restrictions were somehow there but we were tired of the virus. A lot of foreigners came around and musicians performed. I don’t want to cause any issues so I won’t mention the name of the event. I was planning my wedding for January the following year and my girls girls wanted me to enjoy the few weeks left as a single girl. They even paid the tickets for me and it was quite expensive. This white guy approached me and he bought drinks for me and we were chatting and dancing. Then we went far away from the main show because it was so noisy. I was drunk and he was good at flirting. He led me to his car and we had s*x inside. We didn’t care about people passing. The windows were tainted but it was still an open place.
When we were done, we went right back in as if nothing had happened. I was expecting him to ask for my number or something but it didn’t happen. When I asked him, he told me he will give it to me before the event was over and he wanted to meet me again so I shouldn’t worry. He excused himself that he was going to the washroom and that was the last time I saw him. I started walking all around looking for him. By the time I walked to where he had parked his car. The car wasn’t even there. I understood what he had done at that point. He wasn’t looking forward to getting to know me or be my friend even. I was just a one night stand for him. Then I remembered we didn’t use a common condom. That scared me a lot.
When my friends called me later and we were going home, they were all chatting about the guys they had met and the fun they had. But I was quiet. I was only praying that he wasn’t having any STDs and I will just forget it and move on. I didn’t tell any of my friends about having s*x with a complete stranger when I was less than one month away from my wedding. The marriage happened just as planned and my husband, who was then my fiance had no idea I went out that night weeks ago. We had a conversation that night on phone and I told him I had had a long day so I wanted to sleep early. I was dressing up at that time. What happened was that, there was this itch that developed in-between my legs. I started noticing it about a week to the wedding. I went to the hospital on my own to do some tests and I was told I had herpes.
They gave me medication and by the wedding time, the symptoms were gone. I also used a feminine hygiene wash to keep the place neat and clean for my husband during the honeymoon. We had fun during the honeymoon. Many months later when I was about to get intimate with my husband, I saw these tiny sores on his joystick. It was right before he said we should put off the lights. Now here is where things got tricky. My husband knew he had sores on his p*nis yet he hadn’t told me or even asked me if I had an STD. He had been quiet. He wanted us to do it in the dark. He knew I would see it. Unluckily for him, I saw it right when he came out from the shower. I played the offensive card and it worked. That night, I found out my dear ‘upright’ hubby was a cheat.
I asked him if it was an STD and he looked at me and gave me a nod that said yes. He told me he was treating it. I asked him that how did he get it? Because I’m clean and it means he is sleeping with someone else. He was trying to deny it but he saw that I had caught him and he said he has ended things with the girl. We had a major argument that night and he slept in the couch in the hall. At this point, it didn’t even cross my mind that I may have given him the herpes. I had it over 8 months ago and after the medication, there were no more symptoms. The medication worked and I wasn’t having the itching anymore. We didn’t have s*x for weeks after that major argument we had, but all of a sudden the itching started again. It was even more serious. I was thinking my husband got it from his sidechick and reinfected me with it.
I went back to the hospital and the doctor told me that the herpes I have has no cure. I can manage it with treatments and the symptoms can go for a while but it doesn’t mean it’s gone. He even told me some people have it and show no symptoms. This means I may even have been the one who infected my husband. The good thing is that I found out that he was cheating. Later when we talked, he admitted to being with the lady before we even married and he continued after our marriage. We haven’t had s*x in a while and he doesn’t know I have herpes. I am undergoing treatment again but the sores in my inner thighs are taking a while to heal and I have been hiding it from my husband. He and I are in talking terms now and he has shown me the medicines he is taking. His sores are gone and his p*nis looks healthy and normal. He misses s*x so much that the last time he requested us to do it and use a condom so that he won’t infect me just in case.
I told him to give me some time. I want to know what to do. Should I show him the sores down there and blame him for infecting me? Should I continue to hide it from him? It’s getting more difficult to hide it now because as husband and wife, he will surely see my p*ssy no matter how long I hide it. Should I just confess to him about the white man? Should I wait for the treatment to kill the sores? This marriage is less than one year and it’s already a disaster. It was even a disaster before it started. We both cheated and he did it even many times. Mine was that one incident which has given me the herpes. I don’t know if I should get a divorce.