I have known this guy since my childhood. We were neighbourhood friends so we were always together. I was a little tomboyish in my childhood so I was always playing with the boys and I was the only girl in their company. We were all around the same age and we will go to one person’s house and play football or video game. That’s how some of the guys started touching me and pressing me in a way. We were in our teens at that time. The boys are like 7 in number and they have all slept with me before. I don’t know what was wrong with me at that time but I couldn’t say no to them and I was afraid they wont want me to be their friend anymore so anytime they call me to one of their houses, I go.
Sometimes 3 or 4 of them were taking turns on me. When we started growing and I was like 19, I saw that they started ignoring me. When I come around them, they will just leave. They will meet somewhere and not call me. They started getting girlfriends and ignoring me. For me it was very painful. I was in love with one of them and I was showing him all the signs for many years but he never said anything to show he loved me. I gained admission to UCC and my family was leaving the neighbourhood too so I decided to tell him how I feel and see if maybe he felt the same way. But he just looked at me and laughed and said that my v*gina is a highway and all the area boys have passed through so he cannot date someone like me. The way he said it and the way he just laughed and left was so painful.
I cried for days over it. When I went to school, I decided that guys were not worth it. I gave all myself to studying and I was in the library all the time. We also left our family house in the neighbourhood and relocated to our own house. I went for counselling because of what the guy told me and because of the things I did in my past. I was having dreams about having s*x with different men and it really affected me. With the help of God and my counsellor, I came out of the trauma of my past. I graduated UCC as a first class student and I am proud of it. Then last year, one of my cousins who I used to stay with in our family house was having an outdooring for his child and we all went. It was the first time in about 5 years since I went back. As fate will have it, I saw the same guys I grew up with and they were just staring.
When we were leaving, the guy I used to like and the same one who said those harsh things to me approached me and begged me to unblock him. He said I have become very beautiful and he likes me. I told him I wasn’t interested. He started stalking me on social media, commenting under my posts that I am his girlfriend and I blocked him. This guy went to ask for my second number from my sister on Facebook. Only my family members have that number. My younger sister didn’t know about the things we did in the past and she knew him as an old friend in the neighbourhood so she gave the number out. When he called me, he was begging me on the phone so much and he said he wanted us to meet.
We went to sit somewhere to talk and he said he is sorry and he has changed and he likes me. He said he is very serious about me and so many things. I still like him. I told him I’ll think about it. I want to know if I should give him a chance. I haven’t had feelings for any other guy except for the 7 guys and him in particular. If I reject him now, and I don’t feel attraction to any guy, how will I ever be in a relationship? I need your advice. Thank you