Hello everyone. I know many of you will be hard on me after reading this. Some will even judge me, but you guys should know that I want a solution and that is why I have brought it here so please be gentle with me. I’m just a 25 year old girl. I considered myself lucky to have been one of the few people in the country who got retained after my NSS two years ago. But unfortunately, they wanted me to go and work in a different region. Somewhere I hadn’t been to before. They didn’t provide me with any form of temporary accommodation or anything. If I wanted to take the job, I should find my way and find a place to stay over there. I started to panic. I went to the said region with my sister and we were asking around to see if we can get a place to rent. Even if it was a single room, we can start from there.


Someone in the area introduced me to the agent who got his room for him and I called him and we started talking. At first he told me he was sorry, that all the rooms were occupied. We came home to Accra and I was very worried. I had one more week to find a place or else they may even sack me. I started searching for rooms in that area on social media. Asking all my friends. Two days after we came to Accra, the agent called me and told me someone was willing to share a two-bedroom with me. He said it will be temporary because another person’s rent will be due in some months and she doesn’t seem like she will renew it, so I should just pay half of the usual amount and come and stay there. I asked about the person’s gender and he told me it was a guy but I will have my own room and the man is a real gentleman. I didn’t like the idea. I told him I will get back to him.


I didn’t find any room on social media. So finally, the Sunday before I was supposed to officially report to work, I called the agent and I told him I have accepted it. I travelled to meet him and he took me to the place. Honestly, the house is a very nice house and the man who was staying there was so handsome and friendly. I paid the agent his cut and the man insisted since I’m now starting life as a worker, I should pay monthly. In my mind I was thinking that this man was really God-sent. The room he showed me was already furnished with a bed, wardrope, fan, carpet. Almost everything I need in a bedroom. Also I had my own washroom inside. The second day when I woke up, I stepped out and met the man in his boxers and I was so shy. He apologized for that and told me he was used to staying alone so he will try and change.

Then I started having fantasies about this man. Hmmm it was so bad that I will touch myself when I’m doing it. But I felt bad afterwards and I pray and ask God to forgive me. I had a boyfriend but we broke before my NSS was over and so I was single at the time. I started getting close to this man but I was thinking he wasn’t feeling the same way I was feeling because he was just polite and friendly with me so I didn’t give him any ideas. He will be watching a movie and he will invite me to the hall to watch with him. Then as time went on, we started getting very close until one day he said that I have been here for months and he hasn’t seen my boyfriend visit me even once. I laughed about it and told him we broke up and I’m single. Then he told me about how a girl he was planning to marry had left her to marry someone else.


The inevitable happened some days later. We just started watching a movie, then he came close to me and cuddled me. We were doing nothing wrong. That’s what I thought because both of us were single. Then it took me a few months to notice something. We were dating but he didn’t want to step out with me. I was wondering. He goes out a lot, especially on Saturdays, but immediately I ask about going together, he will come up with so many excuses. In the end he will say he wanted to be sure I was the one before making our relationship public because he had learnt a lesson from his previous relationship. Then he will go on and claim he is an indoor type so he likes to stay indoors with his girlfriend to have some privacy. He was lying. I knew it.

But I couldn’t resist his s*x. He was very good in bed and many times, I found myself initiating it. I’ve even gone to the extent of going to his room when he is sleeping to play with his joystick until he wakes up and we do the thing. Then I got pregnant and I told him. At 36, he said he was happy he was finally going to become a father. Then everything changed when I was 7-months pregnant. My parents and whole family didn’t know about the pregnancy. I wanted to give birth first, but also, anytime I suggested to him that we go to my parents and his parents to inform them, he will say I should give birth first. In my 7th month of pregnacy, I got home from work and saw that he had packed all my things and cleaned my room like the way I had come to meet it almost two years ago. I got confused. I even thought he was moving me to his big bedroom. I stopped paying rent when we started dating. He said I needed to leave now and that his wife had taken an earlier flight and she was coming home.

I was more than shocked. Then he went to his bedroom and brought out his wedding ring and some wedding pictures. He said he had to hang them in the hall so his wife will not suspect anything. Also, they have a son who was outside the country. I started to cry when he told me he wishes I can abort my pregnancy. He ordered an uber and we drove to the single room self/contain he has rented for me. Then I barely saw him. All he was doing was sending me money. I have been given maternity leave and I stayed home for a while but my mother started calling me and telling me that if I don’t come home to Accra to visit, she will come and look for me where I am. For over two years, I hadn’t been home, so one saturday, I left my baby with a friend from work. He was six months at the time and I missed cerelac for him and went home. With all the shame I have brought upon myself, I couldn’t tell my pastoral family about having a baby out of wedlock. My father and older brother are pastors and they preach against these things. The church is even very popular..hmmm. They only saw that I had gained some weight and they thought the job is catering well for me. So I didn’t tell my family and I returned back promising to come and visit them at least once a month.

My colleague at work who knows the situation said I should go to the man’s house and tell his wife that her husband has a baby boy with me. My friend even said she will escort me. At first I was scared of the confrontation but gathered courage when for two months I stopped hearing from him and he stopped sending me money. I went to the house with my friend only to be told by the next door neighbour that he and his wife had gone back to the States. Then I called the agent and he told me that the man was not renting that house. He was the owner of the house and he was even selling the house now. I don’t know any of his family members. The agent said he doesn’t know anything about him. Please don’t bash me. I never knew he was married. I knew he was lying at some point but I just thought he was cheating with another person, not having a wife. I’m so depressed right now and I feel like life is not worth it. He has degraded me in the worst possible way and sometimes I want to curse him for revenge. Is there a way I can find him? His social media has all gone blank. My friend thinks it’s time to tell my parents but I’m scared. My baby is almost 8 months now. I want to curse him until he comes and kneels before me. He must suffer for my pain. I won’t let this go. I swear!