Threesomes; having sex with more than one sexual partner at a time, is something that a lot of people fantasize about. In fact, if you ask most people what their number one sexual fantasy or kink is, I’m sure threesome will feature in almost everybody’s list. I am one of such people, but all my experiences have taught me a very terrible lesson – Never share your sexual partner with anyone. I have had 3 threesome experiences or arrangements and every single one of them landed me trouble. The very first one was with my very first boyfriend. We were both young at the time and willing to explore and have fun. It was he who first suggested that we should try a threesome. He even already had one of my friends in mind who he wanted me to invite into the fold. That should have given me a hint, but I guess I was young and naïve at the time.
So I went ahead and convinced my best friend to come join me and my boyfriend in the bedroom. She was single at the time, so it wasn’t a problem. In retrospect, it is surprising how easy it was to convince her and how quickly she agreed. But we were both open minded people and very close, so I didn’t think anything about it. We were room mates sharing the same hostel in the university, so it wasn’t complicated to arrange. She already knew my boyfriend who had visited me at the hostel on several occasions, so no introduction was necessary. The first encounter was okay I guess, but I think he definitely enjoyed more than either of us. He came over to spend the night at our hostel and took turns being with both of us. We just spent the entire night talking and having fun. After that day, we had 2 other encounters, the first one at our hostel once again and the second time, we went to his house.
However, after that third encounter, I started to observe something weird. My bestfriend would make mention of things my boyfriend had said, which I don’t remember him saying. Meaning that they were now in regular communication with each other. I would sometimes come to meet her on the phone with him or see that she was texting him. When I spoke to him about it, he laughed it off and said that it was nothing. After all, what was wrong with him being friends with my room mate? I believed him and thought nothing of it again, until I paid a surprise visit to his house one Sunday morning, months later and caught her there. She said it was just a friendly visit and nothing had happened. However, she had left the hostel on Friday and told me she was visiting her family back home. My boyfriend admitted to sleeping with her behind my back but said it wasn’t a big deal because we have all slept together and what difference did it make if it was just the two of them?
I was hurt and angry and wasn’t having any of it this time. I broke up with him. That was my first threesome experience and it ended horribly. I lost my boyfriend, my best friend and had to find another hostel to live in due to the awkwardness that came after. But that didn’t stop me from trying again. Truth be told, I actually liked the experience, I just didn’t like the situation it led to. So in my next relationship, I was the one who actually suggested it to my boyfriend. He loved the idea. In fact, he said he wanted to suggest the same thing but didn’t know how to tell me. This time he had to go find the third wheel himself, because I wasn’t ready to lose another best friend. He asked one of his besties to join us and she agreed. I knew her and she was cool. So we went ahead and did our things together. However, I would discover later on that they were more than just best friends. In fact, they had been dating for 2 years before I met him. I was the side chick in the relationship without knowing it. And thus ended my second experience.
Third time they say is a charm. In my next relationship, I set so many boundaries. No threesomes with friends ..not with my friends and definitely not with his friends, strangers only. And to make sure he didn’t catch feelings or fall for our partner, we decided to try it with different girls. … and he was okay with it. On a few occasions, we tried 2-males one-female threesome, where he invited other guys to join us. The relationship was really cool and we both enjoyed and had fun. None of us got emotionally involved or attached with any of our sexual partners. Everything was okay, until we got into an argument one day. While angry, he called me a good for nothing girl and said he was only using me because I was cheap and would dump me when he finds someone else. He would later apologize after the fight and say he didn’t mean it, but his words stuck with me and we broke up not long after.
That was my third threesome experience. There isn’t going to be a fourth. From my experience, threesomes just aren’t destined to be…something will always go wrong. One person will end up cheating, one person will feel betrayed or one person will just end up being used by the other while he looks around for a “serious” girlfriend. Lesson well learnt.