He has a reputation of being the workplace flirt. He is a very nice guy. I have had a crush on him from the first day he was transferred to my department. He is tall with a muscular body and his shirts always fit him tightly enough to show his physique. It is very difficult to not be drawn to him as a lady. He is well aware of it so he flirts with many of the ladies. I noticed it a long time ago, so I stayed off his way. I only responded to his greetings and moved to my office. I never laughed at the jokes he made to draw my attention. I also saw the efforts he was making to get to know me. But I ignored him many times. He would intentionally come and chat with his friend opposite my desk and try to get me into conversations. But I would not chip in. Many times, I would plug in my airpods and cancel out all outside noise. You can just imagine the lengths I was taking to ignore this guy. I have experienced very intense broken hearts. Some of them have left me very depressed and suicidal.
When I fall in love, I go all in. I trust the person with my whole being and I don’t know how to fall for someone in a shallow way. That is just how I am in every aspect of my life. I work very hard and give my all at work. I love my family and friends deeply and I go to great lengths to surprise them and show my love for them. I believe it is my personality. I don’t know how to play with someone’s heart or just flirt and not be serious about the person. Many times, I forget that not everyone is like me. At 28, I had learnt a lot of bitter lessons and I didn’t want to repeat mistakes of the past. So when I realized I was falling very hard for this guy in my workplace, I started putting things in place to protect my heart. But love is a strong force. It’s difficult to ignore especially if the person you are trying to avoid sees you five times a week. Gradually, we started becoming friends. I kept lying to myself that it was just friendship. He was friendly with every single person at work. Even our customers and clients. But we started getting very close, and then one day he casually told me to stop fighting my feelings for him. He said he liked me too and wanted us to get serious. I told him about being hurt in the past and not being ready to date for now. I also told him he was a flirt and a player and the women were all over him.
He laughed and told me he was just a friendly guy and that I was drawing conclusions and judging him without trying to actually give him a chance. So I did. Things were going steady for a year and half. Until one day everything shattered. I found out my boyfriend was already married with a daughter. His family was living abroad. He had also lied to me about his age. He was actually thirty seven but told me he was thirty-one. After denying initially, he was angry that I had found out. He asked me how I got to know about it. It all made sense to me. After over a year of dating, he always had an excuse when I asked him to introduce me to his mum or to any member of his family. He knew they would tell me the truth and thankfully, I met his sister without his knowledge and she told me all about it. She even showed me pics of his wife.
Now he claims he married his wife just to get a green card. But if he has a green card, why is he here in Ghana whiles they are there? Why is he dating a Ghanaian girl when he can easily be in abroad and enjoy life with his wife and daughter? I have asked him to explain these to me. But he hasn’t told me anything reasonable. His sister has also avoided me ever since she told me the truth. Now that we have broken up, he avoids me in the office like a plague. I have been hurt once again. But I still believe in love. One day, I will find that man even if it will take a long time for me to heal from this heartbreak. When women say that men are wicked, it is not out of bitterness. Many times, it is out of experience. I am almost 30 years now. I would have settled down if I had been lucky enough to have met a good man. It seems the good ones are very very rare now.
